Prem writes about his practice to fall asleep consciously.
On a good day I can fall asleep in three breaths. Like a dog, I snuggle into my bed and when comfortable, a deep sigh comes from my body and the body disappears. With the next breath the thinking mind vanishes and with the third, the tendency to dream is avoided. Home again. The womb of existence.
Osho spoke to us about falling asleep consciously. He said something about this crazy modern world being a difficult place in which to meditate and that falling asleep was a great opportunity to watch the mind return to its source. He said it was arduous but can be done with repeated practice. I tried. What I have noticed is that with every best effort to fully relax and watch the body mind disappear into sleep, a subtle faculty awakes. And stays awake.
I have found one of the best times for me is in the afternoon. The afternoon nap. I completely relax and keep an inner eye open. I see the body disappear. If I notice the mind say “Now the body has disappeared,” I notice that and relax out of thought. Relaxing out of thought, the mind can change to dream state. I find it fascinating to watch this transition. In some strange way, when the dream tendency arises, if I remain alert as the witness only, the state of ‘witnessing only’ gets very strong and the dreams cannot arise. Often in this state, a dream may catch me unaware and the sense of witnessing becomes lost into identification.
On a good day, the witness feels a very subtle sense of ‘Amness’ only, in a state of both utter darkness and total light simultaneously. Light and dark existing together. No mind. No body. No dreams. Just presence/absence light/dark existing simultaneously. Peace and Love everywhere. A peace that does not surprise me as that is what I am and require no proof of it. That Amness knows very well its own nature. Doesn’t need any concept or feeling to prove or state or make claim of it.
How strange it is to seek peace and love in the world when that is what I am. Is this manifestation simply the urge to make manifest what I am? Must be. What is most beautiful already is at all times in essence and life is so short what else could it be for? This body-mind seems to just confuse our awareness of the essential reality. Are we playing hide and seek? Is that fun? Is it a joke?
The first time I was in the immediate presence of Osho in darshan, not only was there infinite love in his presence but it seemed like the whole universe was laughing. Even I was laughing… but I did not know why or what was the punch line. Through Osho’s love and inspiration the awakening of this inner eye is dispelling my confusion and transforming my displeasure with the world into compassion. This body is slowly but surely being taken over by Peace and Love itself.
Oh, Osho. Pranams to you, Osho. Deep Pranams to you, my Best Friend.
Prem (aka Prem Bhaven) from Australia took sannyas in Pune in 1976; his brother is Vimukta and his mother was Prem Punit. In Pune 1 he worked as a handyman and became a pillar of Vrindavan, while in Rajneeshpuram he worked as a mechanic at Mahavira and later farmed at Dadu. Nowadays he lives at Mevalana in Byron Bay, Australia, and Bali is his second base as he is an enthusiastic diver. Also, he often visits India for retreats.