Gayan from Italy

…left her body 14th March 2017.

Prem Gayan (aka Lucia) was born in 1966 and took sannyas in 2001 at Osho Miasto Center in Tuscany. Throughout the years she remained connected to Miasto and, whenever she had an opportunity, she would come and assist during the monthly meditation camps.

Three years ago Gayan had an operation to remove a brain tumour and recovered well. Last year metastasis were found in several organs and, although she had an optimistic approach towards the cancer, in January it was clear that it was only a question of time.

Gayan wrote the letter below, addressed to herself as Lucia, during the group “The Art of Dying” with Ramateertha at Osho Miasto. She participated in the group after the operation and her wish was to share this letter with her friends, when she would leave her body.

Dear Lucia,

Thanks for letting me live so many experiences; some were painful, others ecstatic, others difficult, but each in their own way beautiful and important. Thank You!

I thank you for giving me my son, who has taught me patience, caring, dedication and love. I know that many times you were not able to deal with him, but also the mistakes you committed, you did them with passion and commitment.

It was the greatest gift you gave me, the most intense joy, together with the fact that you, one day, 12 years ago, brought me to meet Osho. Thank you for having the courage, the strength, and the humbleness for being able to expose yourself; thanks for being open to know your dark sides; thanks for slowly, slowly taking off that dress of “the good girl” that you had worn to please mom and dad.

I remember how many times you felt lost and had the courage to go into that moodiness. Thank you for having felt love for many people, men, women and for having been able to express it; and thanks also for all the times where shyness kept you from coming out in the open.

Thank you for your courage also, that time when you confessed to Luca that you liked him, from which was born an immense love that allowed you to grow as a woman.

I’m grateful for your passion for travelling and for the outdoor life; so many beautiful landscapes I have seen!

And thanks for giving me a strong body, solid, that knew how to deal with illnesses and that regained strength. A body that has allowed you to dance, jump, do a lot of sport, walking to the top of mountains and explore the waters of the ocean. And last year allowed me to discover singing … what a joy!

It is hard to let go of you; there is pain, fear and gratitude.

I love you.