Tonight Sagar came to darshan, telling Osho that Laxmi (the secretary of the organization) has asked him to leave the ashram. He asked Osho if he were really to leave or if this was a message to indicate that he should apply himself more to the work.
Osho: Apply yourself more to the work… become a help to Laxmi. There is no need to go, but apply yourself more to the work – and don’t avoid it. Because that is detrimental to your growth also. Once you become accustomed to not working, you will stop growing. I allowed you enough time… for years you were not doing anything. I allowed you into the ashram only because now you should start doing. A point has come in your growth where you need to move into the work. But if you just somehow manage to do it, it won’t help.
Work is not the only consideration. You should do it happily, lovingly, because if you just do it somehow, like a duty, that will not help. The work will be done, but that will not help you. Work is not the only consideration. You are also – and you are more important than the work. Become part of the family. Don’t remain an outsider.
Sagar: You see, I was trying to do this, because my first job was to do with publishing and running the welcoming centre which I really wanted to get involved in. But I found that the best jobs were actually taken away from me before I had a chance to do anything with them.
Now I’m left with something that’s really hard to get into. I mean doing security guarding for the therapy bathrooms… there isn’t much scope in it. I don’t mind it really….
Osho: No, don’t think in those terms. Whatsoever work is given to you, do it as lovingly as possible. The point is not whether the work is very important or not. If you do it lovingly, it becomes important, whatsoever it is even if it is cleaning. The question is not what work – the question is that you surrender to the ashram all your energies; and whatsoever is available, or whatsoever Laxmi thinks is right, you do.
Simply surrender to Laxmi. That is going to help very much. Just listen to her, and whatsoever she says, do. This is a meditation for you – surrendering to Laxmi.
Sagar: There is one thing. When I was considering the prospect of leaving the ashram, I found that a lot of fear was coming up about the prospect of going back to the West – the uncertainty of it and everything. It was worrying me because one day I will have to do this for one reason or another.
Osho: There is no need to go, unless you yourself want to. But if you don’t become a part, an organic part of the ashram, and you remain aloof…. Because Laxmi feels that whatsoever she gives you, there are a few problems. And the basic problem that I have understood is that you would like it to be done your way. That creates trouble. Simply relax and say, ‘Show me the way and I will do it.’ Simply execute it and don’t try to dominate it.
Sometimes you may know better, and your plan may be better, but still, drop it, because you will have to fit with many people and they all feel it is difficult to work with Sagar because you have your fixed ideas. I’m not saying that those ideas are wrong. They may be better, but the problem is that you have to fit with everybody. If everybody feels that it is difficult to work with Sagar, then it becomes difficult for Laxmi to arrange.
So simply drop your ideas. Tell Laxmi that whatsoever she feels like, just to tell you and you will do it. You will put your whole energy into it and will not put forward your ideas, your plans, because Laxmi knows the whole situation better.
For three months simply relax, then we will see. And she is bound to listen to you. If you have some good ideas, she is bound to listen to you. But first become a part. And whatsoever she says, be a yes-sayer. And unless you want to, there is no need to go. Good, Sagar.
Osho, The Passion for the Impossible, Ch 5