Unless you are a little crazy, you won’t come to Zen

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Osho says, “Maneesha has asked… Choosing the sutras for these discourses she is getting a little taste of Zen.”

“With three pounds of drums, she pecks on the lotus leaf. Knowing a spiral when she hears one, she will be beaten anyway.”

Osho Discourse Pune 2

So now two things have to be done: first, Master Niskriya, she has spoken something right so give her a reward.

(Niskriya touches Maneesha’s head with his staff and Maneesha bows down to Osho in gratitude.)

Good. And now Nivedano…

(Drumbeat)

Declare to the world with your drum, three times….

(Drumbeat)

(Drumbeat)

(Drumbeat)

Good.

Question 2

She is saying, “Osho, my mind is coming to the boil! It is compelled to try and decipher these stories even though that feels like reading the epitaph on one’s own gravestone.”

You are right, Maneesha, I don’t have here a cup of tea – but still you can have a cup of tea. It will not be visible… but from my eyes, from my gestures, from my presence, have a taste. There is no need to be worried about your gravestone.

Walking on the path of Zen is walking towards the greater death, consciously, finding one’s own grave.

Everybody dies, but just as people live unconsciously they die unconsciously. Neither has their life any meaning and significance nor their death. Once you start becoming a little aware… just a small awareness, a small candle flame, and you can see your own death every moment. And beyond your death – the eternal life.

Death is an episode. It happens millions of times, but it is not able to destroy the living energy that you are.

And I can understand your difficulty. You are saying: “So I get my mind out, use it, give up, and put it away. Then I get it out again, give up and put it away. Then it gets out, uses me, gives up and puts me away.
“I am going insane or going in Zen! Help! No, don’t – keep doing it! Or don’t stop not doing what you don’t do!
“Osho, I take my head off to you.”

Zen is certainly a very crazy way. Unless you are a little crazy, you won’t come to Zen. It is true, when you come to Zen, your craziness will go through an alchemical change. Your insanity will become your greater sanity, your no-mind will become your tremendous wisdom.

But from the outside it is crazy. From the inside it is the only sane thing that has happened on this planet.

Maneesha has made you too silent. I would like your silence to be deeper and the only way to make it deeper is to have a good laugh.

Little Felix is having a test from a child psychologist.
“Now, Felix,” says the shrink, “what do you want to be when you grow up?”
“I want to be a doctor, an artist, or a window cleaner,” replies Felix.
“I see,” says the puzzled shrink, “you’re not very clear about it, are you?”
“What?” says Felix. “I am perfectly clear. I want to see naked women!”

Old Mrs. Grumblebum was going every day to visit her doctor. The doctor – a very patient man – humors her, listens quietly and sometimes gives her medicines.
One day Mrs. Grumblebum doesn’t show up. The next day the doctor asks, “Where were you yesterday? I missed you.”
“I’ll tell you the truth,” she replies, “I was sick!”

At the latest summit talks, Ronald Reagan and Mikhail Gorbachev are continually arguing about whose country is number one, Russia or America.
Finally, in order not to start the third world war, they decided to settle it between themselves by running a marathon race.
The next morning at eight o’clock, the two world leaders start the race. Two and a half hours later, Gorbachev happily passes the finish line, but it is another six hours before Reagan makes it. He is utterly exhausted, but not beaten yet.
The following morning the Washington Post runs the story: “In a very dramatic marathon race our great president came in an excellent second. We hear that Gorbachev also participated, but he came in second to last.”

An English woman and her young son are traveling in a taxi in New York. As the taxi drives down 42nd Street, the boy is fascinated by the heavily made-up ladies walking along the street, accosting male passers-by.
“What are those ladies doing?” asks the boy.
His mother blushes and says, “I expect they are lost and are asking people for directions.”
The taxi driver overhears this and says in a loud voice, “Why don’t you tell him the truth? In other words they are prostitutes.”
The English woman is furious and her son asks, “What are prostitutes? Are they like other women? Do they have children?”
“Of course,” replies his mother, “that’s where New York taxi drivers come from!”

Three young Catholic girls want to join a nunnery, but it is a very strict order so the girls have to pass an interview before they are admitted.
Mother Superior calls the first girl and asks her, “What would you do if you were stopped by a man on a dark night?”
“I would kneel down and pray to Jesus,” replies the girl. “Good,” says the head nun turning to the second girl. “And what would you do?”
“I would scream and shout for help,” replies the girl. “Good,” says the Holy Mother turning to the last girl who looks very young and innocent. “And what would you do, my dear?”
“I would pull down the man’s pants,” replies the girl. “Ah, dear!” cries the Mother Superior almost in a faint. “And what would you do then?”
“I would pull up my skirt,” she replies.
“Jesus Christ, save us!” croaks the old nun. “And then what?”
“Then,” says the girl, “I would run like hell!”

Now, close your eyes.
For two minutes just be absolutely still,
as if frozen.

Relax…

Okay, come back.

Okay, Maneesha?

Yes, Osho.

Osho, Live Zen, Ch 15, Q 1

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