Our common ‘wants’

From Subhan's Desk

Subhan writes, “Regardless of the differences between each of us – and there are many! – it is possible to recognize that we share underlying wants.”

Women with placards

After years of inquiring into my own ‘wants,” and 50 years of working with thousands of people, it has never been clearer that we all share some common wants!

They would include: to be happy, to be free, to have a sense of worthiness, to feel loved, to be seen and heard, to be prosperous, and to find a space of peace for ourselves – to name some significant ones. Once this became apparent to me, it was obvious that problems and conflict arose by the way each of us attempted to obtain these wants.

But the underlying similarities didn’t change.

So, regardless of the differences between each of us – and there are many! – it is possible to recognize that we share these underlying wants. And that has made it easier for me to find ways to connect with others from what we share in common, rather than the differences that could divide us.

I recommend that, if this approach is new to you, give it a try! Look around at all the different people you see and relate and work with, and recognize that at their core, they want the same things you want. And perhaps that will give you greater space to accept them – or, at least pause in judging them harshly.

[I’m well aware that this understanding becomes difficult, if not impossible, to maintain when the other insists not only that theirs is the right way, and even the only way – but they also try to force their way on you. This certainly challenges the limits of this understanding! But remember, even when they want to push or pull you in their direction, even so, the underlying similarities don’t change!]

From a post on Facebook – Photo by RODNAE Productions

Subhan

Subhan is a certified counselor in Seattle, WA, USA and facilitates many different workshops. worldofmeditation.com

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