Practising nothingness

Face to face with emptiness

As an enlightened being, Osho defies all categories, being a mere absence, or, in other words a total presence. His trade as a spiritual master is exactly that: ultimately selling nothing but nothingness. The method of meditation is a long-term project, coming to fruition and fulfilment if there in no purpose involved, and no goal set – not even the state of inner emptiness itself.

Nothingness to me is an indefinite void, infinite, ready to swallow me whole. Standing at the threshold of that gaping abyss makes me tremble. I can vaguely sense the final result: gone, gone, forever gone. Its preceding state, which Osho calls no-mind, seems less intimidating. The person I am has vanished, there is no more personality, rather an empty room, open for the divine to be my guest.

Falling into this state through practising awareness, meditation, and all related techniques, is an actual reality to be achieved, even in daily life. Walking, I am only walking; cooking, I am present while cooking instead of being lost in the cloud-like, drifting and dreamy activities of the mind – being whole, instead of a multitude. Difficult, but attainable through dedicated, persistent practice. And once I am in that space, it’s so exquisite…

But nothingness is so rare to find in this world! The nothingness in Osho’s eyes, a complete void, was staggering to me at times. While practising nothingness during simple activities, I once decided to take it with me to the grocery store around the corner. When I arrived at the self check-out counter to scan and bag everything, I so dwelled in that state, that everyone near me simultaneously stopped whatever they were doing – to stare at me! It seems that most people hardly experience even a taste of nothingness, thus the presence of that unexpected and unfamiliar air was noticed immediately with alarm.

I heard Punya mention in a podcast interview that Osho, these days, has become rather an abstract phenomenon to her. This is exactly what he emphasised so often: not being a person, but a mere presence. In all that absent abstractness, that very moment at the grocery store, he suddenly was right there. As if shouting ‘stop!’, just as during the Dynamic Meditation to end the Hoo hoo! phase. His unexpected presence and its effect was so stunning, that I was both blown away by the experience and chuckling inside at his mischief.

Really, I feel overawed by nothingness. Meditating in Osho’s Samadhi for an entire hour, at one point became impossible for me, as I twice nearly fainted. Each time, Mukta was the facilitator of the silent sitting, seated in front with cymbals by her side, facing those present with a rather austere expression on her beautiful face. When in the state of deep meditation I reached the point where I felt I was going to faint, I concluded that this would disturb everyone around me and especially cause her concern if I fell over. I forced my eyes open to break from dissolving, and now breathing deeply, wished for the hour to pass by. Osho’s Samadhi is my favourite place in the whole world. These days, I would act entirely differently: I’d quietly inform the facilitator beforehand, and then allow that process to take over when announcing itself, in love, in trust. What is there to lose? I suspect that it is ultimately nothing more than another spiritual mischief.

Featured image by 愚木混株 cdd20 on Unsplash