(8 March 1955 – 21 September 2024)
Swami Shunyam Anando (Robert Alexander)
by Ma Yoga Tara Alexander
Anando died unexpectedly at our house from apparent heart failure on a late Saturday morning in September last year, after working outside in hot weather. I was still in Minnesota, spending additional days after our two-week vacation there.
We had a rich, full life together, and in our final vacation days we hiked, went canoeing and enjoyed a break from the blazing Florida heat. In his last texts to me he complained about the weather but was happy to report that he fed my birds.
When I returned to our property the next day I noticed that he had mowed and trimmed our gigantic lawn, gone grocery shopping, vacuumed the kitchen and seeded about 80 little pots with a variety of vegetables for our winter garden. They were nicely placed in the bathtub where they would get sun and coolness for optimal sprouting.
Anando was a gifted writer, builder, leader in his weekly men’s groups and an avid gardener. His talents flourished over decades as he focused on the things he truly loved to do.
He was born into a military family in California. His father was a naval pilot and officer – Anando did not know him very well as his dad was usually away overseas, traveling the world. His mom won the title Ms. Annapolis as a young woman, and then settled into married life, providing a loving home for Anando and his three siblings.
However, their house changed nearly every year as the family was uprooted, moving to various naval bases around the country. Their grandparents provided a continuous home base in Annapolis where the kids enjoyed their summers playing in the woods and nearby creeks and rivers.
Grandaddy was a builder, but never showed his grandkids the basics; however, Anando caught on anyway, becoming a contractor later in life.
Summers were Anando’s happiest childhood times until he went to high school for two years in Coronado, California where he learned the joys of moviemaking. He became a storyteller and that theme continued throughout his life.
But then everything was disrupted for him when the family moved back to the East Coast. In his senior year he attended an enormous suburban public school where he felt isolated, trapped and stagnant. He found himself waiting for independence – he was ready for freedom away from family.
That freedom arrived at 17 when he started Carleton College in Minnesota. Without the constraints of his childhood, he let his hair grow out and learned for the first time that he had a head of thick curly hair!
He majored in psychology but his true love was the campus theater where he spent most of his waking moments. He worked on sets, helping to design and build them and then learned that he loved directing. His storytelling theme continued.
Also important for him was finding and settling into a home. After his interest in psychology faded during his years as a graduate student in Texas he made his way back to California and came across a sannyasin household near where he lived in Berkeley. There, in 1980-81, he discovered the joys of connection and meaning. He wholeheartedly became Swami Shunyam Anando.
As an experienced handyman he was invited to the Ranch, where he worked in construction, welding, Edison (video dept.) and security. I got to know him on the commute to and from Antelope. It was in those days that we started our friendship that deepened into love and devotion over many years. It was also on the Ranch that he told me he felt love for the first time after sitting with Osho in a small group in Jesus Grove. I will never forget how his eyes glowed in that moment.
After leaving the Ranch we kept in touch and soon decided to live together. We settled in Marin County until 1997, when we moved to Florida with our baby Ryan. Fatherhood brought out Anando’s imagination and creativity. His playfulness was a delight to witness, especially since he was generally a serious introvert.
He immersed himself into writing a comic book about Ryan and his kindergarten classmates and then wrote a book (with Ryan’s help) called Unfamiliar Magic. It was about a witch’s cat who changed into the protagonist’s babysitter. Random House published it in 2010 and after that he wrote three more books, one of which he self-published.
Besides writing he spent countless hours (years!) building our home on 20 acres near Gainesville Florida. He was a true artist and Renaissance man. It appeared that no task was too much for him to figure out and implement.
When he was younger he loved camping and scuba diving. He kept hiking on his favorite nature trails and enjoyed kayaking.
In the early 2000s his best friend Buddha encouraged him to attend a Mankind Project weekend. It had a profound impact on him, as he seemed to shift into an even more caring, responsible human being. It appeared to me that he rarely compromised his authenticity, although at times he expressed that it took tremendous energy for him to keep some things to himself when he really wanted to say them out loud.
He found writing to be a great outlet – he was enthusiastically working on his sequel to Unfamiliar Magic throughout much of 2024. I think becoming a sannyasin, being in a devoted relationship with me, then a father – as well as his commitment to integrity – carried him through some very difficult episodes of depression in his life. It seemed to me that he reached a threshold of love, understanding and awareness.
In the end he died quickly and alone, with no fuss and a calm contented look on his face (so I heard).
I love him dearly and always will.
I’m incredibly grateful for our years together.
Ma Yoga Tara Alexander
More Tributes
Dearest Tara,
This is addressed to you, but I am sure Anando will get the energy of it, even if he can’t read it.
I can’t say I knew Anando well. And my contact with him is mostly from over 40 years ago when he was on my Chang Tzu construction crew. He left a really warm impression on me. He had an exceptional softness. He was never loud, never made waves, and, what was helpful, knew what he was doing (as opposed to most of us – leading to endless discussions on exactly how to do things!)
And since I already had a warm place in my heart for you, I was delighted to know you were together and that Ryan existed. Always a feeling that he had many of his father’s qualities.
Sending all of you my love on the endless journey.
Prem Samarpan
I remember Anando mostly from that time at Paras in Berkeley, which was just after Poona One and before the Ranch. He was quiet, thoughtful, and very kind. He took my boyfriend under his wings when we had very little money and put him to work in his construction handyman business. They worked together smoothly and with much love and laughter. A very good man.
Thank you, Tara, for filling in some of his background and for sharing so much of yourself.
Much love to you!
Navina
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