Dying with a little help of an angel

An excerpt from a book by Dutch author, Bruno de Roeck

I was sitting on the bench by the front door.

“I don’t know how to die,” I said to my Guardian Angel. “I’ve never done it before, but now the time has come!”

“It’s dead simple,” he said. “I’ll explain it to you. You don’t need to have studied Hebrew. I won’t burden you with theory or long stories. And I’ll help you. Step by step. It’s even easier than the course The Internet for Seniors. Any child can understand it. It practically explains itself… Shall we begin?”

“Yes,” I said, my heart in my throat.

“First, remove the brass plaque by your front door, the one with your name and profession engraved on it,” he said. “Where the plaque was screwed into the wall,” he continued, “four little holes will remain. Fill them carefully and touch up the paint so that passers-by will no longer know where you live – or where you once lived. I’ll take a little stroll along the canal while you finish…”

“Finished?” he asked after his walk, which had evidently done him good. He had even acquired a healthy glow.

“Yes,” I said, somewhat bewildered by this remarkably simple and practical, yet very direct approach.

“Now go inside,” he continued. “Hang your cap and your coat on the rack. For good.”

The words for good startled me.

“You see how simple it is? And from now on, you must stop talking. For good…”

Again, the words for good made me flinch.

“Now put your hearing aid and your glasses on the mantelpiece. You’ll never need those aids again. Never again. What a relief, isn’t it? No, don’t speak anymore! Is it difficult? Yes? Here, hold my hand for a moment… Now lie down on the sofa and stop looking around… Slowly close your eyes… It’s unbelievably simple… And now stop thinking… Don’t even think about dying… And don’t put on such a solemn face, as though that brass plaque by the front door were still hanging there with your name and profession in bold letters. It’s gone! That’s how simple it is… Dead …simple… We’re almost there… Yes? Now you can let go of my hand …”

From: Bruno de Roeck, Janken naar de maan (Crying at the Moon), 2002, pp. 163–164.
Translated from Dutch by Shanti.

Bruno-Paul De Roeck (1930–2012) was a Flemish writer, sculptor, and Gestalt therapist. A former Carmelite monk and priest for 17 years – during which he learnt the art of watching and witnessing – he left the church due to his progressive views. He was best known for his accessible, self-help style books in which he introduced Gestalt therapy concepts to a broader, mainstream audience.