The last in Avikal’s series, Reporting from the Great Doubt
In 1998, the morning after a very potent Satori retreat in Pune, when I woke up in my room I randomly opened The Way of the White Clouds and read: “There is nothing you can do…”.
An immense sense of relief exploded inside of me, making me tremble, cry and laugh, and stand in the middle of a very alive stillness. I woke up that day to JUST THIS, and my search ended.
I celebrated that moment – months later – by publishing my first poetry book, Shedding the Skin.
It has taken me, though, nearly thirty-seven years to embody awakened consciousness without doubts, resistance, preferences. And Osho has made that clear:
“The meditator has to learn two things: first, to be capable, powerful enough, to allow the false to disappear. But this is not a great problem. Every morning when you wake up you allow the dreams to disappear. You don’t hanker for them, howsoever sweet they may have been, you don’t even think about them. Just within two or three seconds you start forgetting, and after a few minutes it is as if they had never existed at all. You don’t cry because in your dream somebody died, and you don’t feel very sad because in your dream you became bankrupt. Whatever has happened in the dream, the moment you wake up it becomes meaningless.
“So, the false known as false is immediately no longer a problem. Now another problem arises which is far bigger, far more profound: the real remains. Up to now, because you were lost in the illusory you were not aware of the real. Suddenly you become aware of the real; now you have to come to terms with the real.”
The Great Zen Master Ta Hui, Chapter 24, The Inescapable
The journey through the Great Doubt is now completed.
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- Follow the whole series: Reporting from the Great Doubt
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