Rodney was very scared about going to the ophthalmologist.

The Priest was preparing a man for his long journey into the night.

In Galilee, Jesus saw a crowd chasing down a woman to stone her and he approached them.

I am trying to make friends outside of Facebook…

Not-so accurate translations ensure belly laughs – provided by Imgur.

On July 20, 1969, as Commander of the Apollo 11 lunar module, Neil Armstrong was the first person to set foot on the Moon.

A man had been in a mental institution for some years.

A man and an ostrich walk into a restaurant.

On Monday morning a postman is walking the neighbourhood on his usual route.

An attorney arrived home late.

When I thought about the evils of drinking in the New Year, I gave up thinking.

A man asks his friend for a cigarette.

An ‘unusual’ animation cartoon.

The other day, Charley stopped at a friend’s house.

A businessman tells his friend that his company is looking for a new accountant.

Charlie has a racehorse that has never won a race.

The pastor’s wife was expecting her second baby.

Sister Mary Ann worked for a home health agency.

A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work.

An elderly gentleman had had severe hearing problems for some time.

A woman texts her husband on a cold winter’s morning:

An airliner en-route to Washington DC was having engine trouble.

A Boston taxi driver backed into a stationary fruit stall.

Three guys travel to Saudi Arabia for a holiday and ride into the desert.

It was the night before Thanksgiving and little Sophie was sleeping in her bedroom.

An airplane is cruising at 36,000 feet.

Born 1903 – Died 1942: Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was.

Be prepared…

An elderly white-haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young woman at his side.

Three Japanese engineers and three accountants are travelling by Shinkansen train to a conference in Tokyo.

The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex.

After a particularly poor game of golf, a popular club member skipped the clubhouse and started to go home.

A nervous taxpayer was unhappily conversing with the IRS Tax auditor who had come to review his records.

A woman walks into a pharmacy.

A blind man decided to visit Texas.

A crowded airliner is about to take off.

At the airport for a holiday trip, Marvin and his family settled down to wait for the boarding announcement at Gate C35.

One evening a father overheard his son saying his prayers.

Air Force One crashed in the middle of a large farm property in rural America.

Silas is driving down a country road in rural Kansas.

Being creative with the history of troublesome kin.

A newly ordained priest is nervous about hearing confessions.

Little Johnny is in the classroom bored to the back teeth on a Friday afternoon.

  Thanks to Vandana

Richard was lounging at home in the late afternoon.

Marcia is in hospital suffering from a severe sinus infection.

A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce.

A 5-year old boy went to visit his grandmother one day.

A couple, both age 78, went to a sex therapist’s office.

I was at my bank today, waiting in a short line.

A married couple is sleeping soundly.

Thanks to Shanti

Johnny’s teacher told the class to say a sentence using the word beautiful twice.

A police officer, though scheduled for all-night duty at the station, was relieved of duty early.

A nun and a priest were crossing the Sahara desert on a camel.

A guy suffering from a miserable cold begs his doctor for relief.

When my wife was about to have our first baby, we brought a tape recorder.

A frustrated wife wants to spice up her dead sex life.

After the birth of their second child, Patrick volunteered to undergo a vasectomy.

Giovanni wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company’s annual party in Rome.