Aging Discourses — 13 October 2013

Q: A visitor here observed that there is an agelessness in the people around you. What is the explanation for this?

Maneesha, the explanation is very simple. I have never felt my age. I still feel like a child. As I close my eyes I don’t see any difference in my innocence, in my mischievousness. I am the only rascal saint in the whole world.

I sometimes wonder whether I am aging or not. My beard has become white, but it is not because of my age. It is due to the courtesy of President Ronald Reagan’s poison. One of the symptoms of the poison thallium that he has given to me is that it turns your hair white. It would have turned ten years later, but he helped me, he saved ten years. He has given me a beautiful beard. The whole credit goes to him!

When I look into the mirror, into my eyes, I see the same eyes I have always seen from my very childhood. I close my eyes, I look inside, and I am the same – just ageless.

That’s why I go on forgetting how long I have been speaking to you. Last night, it was really too much! I have a watch, but I don’t want to offend you so I don’t look at it. Looking at a watch means I am tired of you. I am never tired.

On the way back, Anando and Avesh said that “This was the record!”

I said to myself, “Just wait! Someday it will be the record!”


It is true, Maneesha, it is an ageless campus. Here the old are just as innocent as the children, or even more so – because your inner being is ageless. Once you come in touch with it, it is timeless, it never grows old or young or anything. It is just the same from eternity to eternity. Once you start coming closer and closer to your eternity, a certain agelessness starts radiating from your eyes, from your faces.

And the person who observed this must have a very clear vision.

I can see it happening: you are becoming every day younger. Sometimes I wonder, if everybody becomes too young, it will be very difficult to explain to them the sutras!

It is time for Sardar Gurudayal Singh….


Pope the Polack gets an invitation from the Chinese government to spend twenty million dollars on a ten-day tour of China. He is the first pope ever to make the trip to China, and is amazed to find that nobody there knows anything about Christianity. The Polack pope makes a great effort to explain to Prime Minister Wu, his host – who speaks little English – something of the basics of Christianity.

“You know,” says Pope the Polack, spreading his arms wide, and rolling his eyes, “you must have heard about it – man-die-on-cross!”

“Ah! Velly good!” replies Wu. “Yes, me see the movie!”


Jose, the Peruvian farmer, has a donkey called Pedro. One day he lends Pedro to his mother-in-law, Mama Enchilada. That evening, when Jose goes to collect Pedro, he finds that the donkey has managed to kick his mother-in-law down the village well.

The next day, at Mama Enchilada’s funeral, the entire male population of the village flocks to the church. After the ceremonies, Father Gonzalez approaches Jose and says, “Your mother-in-law must have been liked very much. I have never seen so many people in my church.”

“Ah!” says Jose, “they did not come to bury Mama Enchilada – they came to borrow Pedro!


Unsuspected by the American public, President George Bush has a grave problem. He has secretly been going to see Doctor Mindbender, the White House psychiatrist, for some intense therapy. One morning, George Bush is lying on the shrink’s couch, just babbling away.

“I am a nice man, really I am,” says George, in his best TV voice. “I am the ex-director of the CIA. I have a college degree; I am a respectable, quiet family man. I lead an unblemished life. I always contribute to Mother Teresa’s charity fund, and I often visit Father Fungus to have a heart-to-heart chat. I have nothing to reproach myself with, yet I keep having this disturbing delusion, this nagging feeling, that I am a violent mass murderer.”

“Hmmmm,” says Doctor Mindbender, as he quietly locks the door, and pulls down the blinds. “You must not worry, George. This is quite common among many mild-mannered, quiet people like yourself. But before we proceed, would you mind putting down your sub-machine gun?”


Do you get it? – you will get it in the middle of the night!

Osho, Christianity: The Deadliest Poison and Zen: The Antidote to All Poisons, Ch 4, Q 1