How do you get your viola section to sound like the horn section?
Have them miss every other note.
How do you get a trombone to sound like a French horn?
Stick your hand in the bell and mess up all the notes.
What do you get when you cross a Horn player and a goal post?
A goalpost that can’t march.
How many Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but he’ll spend two hours checking the bulb for alignment and leaks.
Why is the French horn a divine instrument?
Because a man blows in it, but only God knows what comes out of it.
How do horn players traditionally greet each other?
Hi. I played that last year.
Hi. I did that piece in grammar school.
Dedicated to Chandra