“Ego always thinks of softness as weakness. That’s why women have been thought down the ages to be the weaker sex,” states Osho in a darshan.
Yashodara tells Osho that there is something on his mind.
Yashodara: I feel weak. I feel more receptive and feminine since Primal. Lots of father-figures coming up – teachers and everything. I don’t know if I should do something or just to let it go.
Yashodara closes his eyes on Osho’s instruction, and clasps the hands held out to him as Pavitra positions herself behind him. Osho tells her to pour her energy into him. Her energy is soft but vibrating, and Yashodara begins to sob, his body falling back and bending into hers.
You have to relax into it; nothing else has to be done. It is perfectly good, you are on the right track. Become more feminine, become more soft, delicate, and allow it to happen. Your ego is trying to create trouble. Your ego is saying to you ‘Be strong, be masculine, be this and that.’ Don’t go on that male chauvinistic trip – forget about it. Relax. Whatsoever is coming naturally is beautiful. This femininity has to be absorbed.
It is not weakness, it is delicateness; it is softness that you are thinking is weakness. To use the word ‘weakness’ is to evaluate it. Your ego is evaluating it, condemning it – that this is something wrong, you are becoming weak. Ego always thinks of softness as weakness. That’s why women have been thought down the ages to be the weaker sex. It is not true, it is just false.
The woman is the stronger sex but she is delicate, that is true. And now biological investigations prove that. Women live five years more than men: their average age is five years longer. More men go mad than women, double the number. More men commit suicide than women, double the number. More men are prone to illness than women; women have more resistance against disease and illness than men. Women are capable of tolerating pain much longer than men. Just think of giving birth to a child or having a child in your womb for nine months and then for years the nuisance that the children create. Only a woman is able to bear it all. She has a kind of strength which is totally different. She may not have muscular power but muscular power is not the only way to judge strength. The deeper way to judge strength is by the capacity to resist illness, death, the capacity to tolerate pain, the capacity to remain alive in spite of all that is against life, the capacity to remain sane in spite of the whole insane world.
Drop that word ‘weakness’ – simply call it softness, femininity, and allow it. Much more is on the way. And it is beautiful!
What groups have you done?
Yashodara: Centering and Tantra… I’ve done six groups but a long time ago.
And what have you been doing recently?
Yashodara: I did the music group mostly.
That’s very good. Continue it.
Yashodara: I don’t like it at the moment.
Then no need – whatsoever you feel, you can do.
Yashodara: But one problem: when I feel like this I’d like to be with a woman. I just sit and just wait and nothing happens, you know. It makes a problem sometimes.
Just hang a small signboard [Osho laughs]: I am waiting for a woman and nothing is happening.
Many women are waiting for a man and nothing is happening – they will start turning towards you! Just let it be known, that’s all. Tomorrow just have a signboard and see: many women will start enquiring.
It is not a problem, not at all. Try a signboard!
Osho, The 99 Names of Nothingness, Ch 2