Confusion

In the beginning there was
energy
love and attraction
dancing between us
going back and forth
light and colourful
hesitating and demanding –
finally settling down
heavy and sparkling
binding us in lucid darkness.

This very moment
confusion started.
Happiness merged with
frustration
illusion
wrong expectations
of how and what
should be – could be
except the bodies of you and me.

Confusion –
Love never became
most important to you.

Confusion –
Our journey had shown
Love is not all.

There was only a tomorrow
but never a future.

New York, 1986

Poem and painting by Uma Ruser
from the book ‘I called him Wolf: Reflections on an affair with a married man’ – www.uma-kunst.de