Maneesha has asked:
Our beloved Master,
Those diamond thunderbolts you hurtle around you when you dance with us each evening – at the rate we’re going, someone could be knocked conscious!
But please, don’t stop!
Maneesha, I want you all to be knocked conscious. But you are so clever, such accomplished actors that you even act meditation. You follow Nivedano’s drum just like actors. Nivedano drums and you start your gibberish just as if you are a robot, just waiting for Nivedano to push the button. But you are not total. If you are total, it will not be acting anymore.
You do, and you try to be total, but trying will not help – you have to be total. I can hear and I can see: people are trying to do, in every possible way, but they know inside that it is all acting. That’s where they miss the point.
Make it a reality, throw out all your garbage. Don’t say relevant things; that you are doing every day, the whole day. Just for two minutes, go crazy without any fear. When you are going crazy yourself, you can come back any moment. When Nivedano beats his drum you will become silent.
But remember one thing: everything has to be authentic, sincere. Otherwise you will do every day the same thing; it will become automatic. You will become a good actor, but not a meditator. I want you really to be knocked conscious, because that is the only way to find the meaning and truth of life.
This evening, don’t act, be real and be as total as possible. Throw out all the gibberish – and you have enough. Don’t be worried that you will miss it, it will come back! When you throw it out, it is just like a thrown ball. It hits the wall or the tree and comes back to you. Here, all around, everybody is throwing his garbage. Once in a while it gets mixed up, entangled; I can see it, that you are getting somebody else’s garbage.
But garbage is garbage… and that’s why I warn you, don’t sit silently. Throw everything as fast as possible, because you have to throw yours and you have to avoid others’ coming – because everybody is throwing towards you. If you sit silently, you will collect such a good load of garbage that it will be very difficult for you even to move with that load – a truckload!
I go on seeing, when people are throwing their garbage it goes on slipping from Stonehead Niskriya’s head; it falls over it, jumps away. But he is really a stonehead. He remains silent, does not allow anything to enter into him.
Don’t remain silent. Gibberish is one of the most scientific ways to clean your mind. And if somebody wants the garbage, he can take it; but here nobody wants it. So when you are throwing, be honest, don’t act. When you are silent, be really silent. When you are looking in, then don’t open your eyes even for a split second just to see what is happening to others. It is not your concern what is happening to them. Let them tackle their problem; you manage yours.
And when I say – and Nivedano beats the drum – to relax and let go, just fall like a falling tree; don’t try to make yourself comfortable. That is the point where you miss. I see people making themselves comfortable. From the very beginning they look all around – where will they have to relax? Which side to fall? You just fall as if you are falling dead. And there is no harm if you don’t return. We will miss you, but you will give us another occasion for celebration!
Before this knocking out happens, a few laughters just to prepare the way. Even if you have to die, die laughing. And one never knows… everybody has to die. Someday somebody is going to die here, but here death will be a totally different phenomenon. It will be a conscious death. And to die consciously is the greatest achievement in life because then you are never born again, you enter into the eternal sources of life.
That’s why I tell a few jokes for you to remember in your eternity. Once in a while you may meet another sannyasin. And you will be able to recognize sannyasins when they tell jokes; nobody else is going to tell jokes. You will meet dry-bone sannyasins, old-type, old-fashioned. This will be your distinction, you will be known by your laughter.
Jablonski wants to have a date with Sally-May, so he goes to the pharmacy. Behind the counter is pretty Lucy Go-Good.
“Ahem!” says Jablonski, clearing his throat. “May I see the manager or a male clerk?”
“I am the manager now,” smiles Lucy, “and we have no male clerks. Tell me what you want.”
“Well,” says Jablonski, nervously. “I would like a few condoms.”
“Okay,” replies Lucy. “What size?”
“Gosh!” says Jablonski. “I don’t know. Do they come in sizes?”
“Come back here,” says Lucy, taking him behind a curtain at the back of the store. “Just put it in,” she says, lying back on a couch and lifting her skirt.
Jablonski is shocked, but seeing the situation, decides that it is okay. As he inserts his machinery, Lucy smiles and says, “Size seven. Take it out. Now, how many condoms do you want?”
Dazed, Jablonski staggers out of the store, with his package in his hand, and wanders down the street. He runs into Paddy.
“What do you have there?” asks Paddy, quietly finishing off a bottle of whisky.
Jablonski tells Paddy what just happened in the pharmacy, and Paddy’s eyes light up. He dashes off and wobbles into the store where Lucy is still waiting behind the counter.
“Excuse me,” slobbers Paddy, “but do you have condoms?”
“Yes,” smiles Lucy. “What size?”
“Size?” smiles Paddy, trying not to laugh. “Gosh, I don’t know.”
“Well,” remarks Lucy, easily, “come with me.”
They go behind the curtain, Lucy lifts her skirt, throws herself on the couch and says, “Put it in.” Paddy does, and does and does, until he is done.
“You take size eight,” says Lucy getting up. “How many would you like?”
“Well,” replies Paddy, “actually, I don’t want any. I just came in for a fitting!”
Fergus Fillup makes himself a small distillery and starts to brew some illegal White Lightning whiskey. His whiskey is so strong that Fergus boasts it can burn its way through a steel plate.
One day, Fergus drinks a little too much of his home-made whiskey, and he sees so many animals running around his room that he sticks up a sign outside his house which reads: “Fergus Fillup’s Circus.”
Police Officer O’Leary and his men go to investigate. Fergus invites O’Leary into his room and puts a large glass of White Lightning whiskey into the policeman’s hand.
When officer O’Leary staggers out half an hour later, his men gather around him excitedly, asking him what happened.
Officer O’Leary raises his hand for silence.
“It is all right, men,” he slobbers, “the worst is over. He has agreed to sell me half of the elephants!”
Ivan Ivanovitch is sitting at home in his apartment in Moscow, when he hears a loud knock at the door.
“Who is it?” asks Ivan nervously.
“It is the Angel of Death!” booms a voice.
“Ah, thank god,” says Ivan. “I thought it was the KGB.”
Paddy and Sean are out duck hunting. They creep down to the edge of Farmer Banana’s pond and find lots of ducks swimming around near Banana’s cows.
“Hey,” says Paddy. “Those ducks are not afraid of that cow.”
“I can see that,” replies Sean, “but if you shoot at the ducks you might hit the cow.”
“Yes, man,” says Paddy. “But think – what if we were in the skin of the cow?”
The next day they go to the theatrical outfitters and hire a cow costume. Paddy is in the front end and Sean in the rear. As they approach the pool, the ducks do not move at all. Suddenly, there is panic in the front end of the cow, as Paddy tries to start running.
“Stop that, Paddy,” hisses Sean. “You will frighten the ducks.”
“Okay,” says Paddy, “but you had better brace yourself. There is a bull right behind you!”
Be silent. Close your eyes.
Feel your body to be frozen.
Go inside. Look deep,
as if you are looking into a deep well.
Deeper and deeper…
until you find the center of your life radiating, a light unto itself. The moment you feel the light, a great joy and a great silence arise in you. This center connects you with the universe.
To be more intimate with the universe, Nivedano…
Relax… let go. Just watch. The body is there, the mind is there, but you are not the mind or the body.
You are just the witness. This witness is the buddha.
Remember, around the clock, that you are carrying a buddha within you. Act accordingly, respond accordingly. This small remembrance of the buddha within you is going to transform you totally into a new being:
radiant and dancing with joy,
grateful to the universe,
utterly humble, peaceful and loving.
This is the moment when Tozan must have said, The teaching of thusness has been intimately communicated by all the buddhas. Now you have it, so keep it well.
Come back… but not the same as you have gone in. Come back as a buddha, without any hesitation, silently, peacefully, gracefully.
Sit down for a few moments just reminding yourself that you are a buddha. And let this remembrance continue around the clock, and you will see a tremendous revolution happening within you and without you.
Your every act will become a poetry,
your every movement will become a dance,
your very breathing will become musical,
your very heart will beat
in deep synchronicity with the universe.
You will not be separate,
you will be one with the oceanic consciousness
that surrounds us all.
Yes, Beloved Master.
Can we celebrate the ten thousand buddhas?
Yes, Beloved Master.
Osho, The Language of Existence, Ch 7, Q 1 (excerpt)