Maneesha has asked a question: Our Beloved Master, is enlightenment something like getting the punchline to the ultimate joke?
Right, Maneesha. It is the punchline of the ultimate joke.
This begins the time for Sardar Gurudayal Singh.
Percy and Porky Poke own a men’s clothing shop in downtown L.A.
One day Buster Chubbs walks in and says, “I need a nice suit.”
“Okay,” smiles Porky, jumping up. “We have Paris suits, Italian suits, Mexican suits, all kinds and all styles, from every corner of the world. Modern, classical, new wave, formal, business – any kind of suit.
“You can get them in your favorite color,” continues Porky with his best sales pitch. “We have black, blue, grey, even orange – any color you want! What is your size?”
Buster is really impressed as he looks around the shop. “I think I am size forty-two,” he says.
Porky proceeds to bring every size forty-two suit in the store and has Buster try each one. Every time Buster comes out in a different suit, Porky spins him around to look in the mirror – back to front, and front to back, spinning him this way and that, to see it from all the angles.
Half an hour later, Porky still cannot sell him a suit.
Then Percy walks up with the last remaining suit, says a few things to Buster, and Buster buys it.
When Buster leaves his shop, Percy turns to Porky and says, “See how easy it was? I sold it to him on the first try.”
“Sure,” says Porky, “but who made him dizzy?”
Boris Bagel gets invited to a fancy-dress masquerade and decides to go along dressed as Lucifer, the devil.
Unfortunately, on his way to the party, Boris gets lost and ends up walking into the middle of a Jimmy Bakker TV broadcast prayer meeting.
The good folks, watching preacher Jimmy Bakker give his fire and brimstone sermon, take one look at Boris in his devil outfit and start to scream and run for the doors.
In the panic, preacher Jimmy Bakker gets trampled to the floor and Boris, not realizing that he is the cause of the panic, goes over to help him up.
“Ah, Satan!” shouts Bakker, terrified. “I have been running this special Christian church for twenty years, but I want you to know I have really been on your side all along!”
Giovanni, the Italian, George, the Englishman, and Ivan, the terrible Russian, are working for the United Nations Army in Africa, when they are captured by cannibals.
Chief Boonga, the cannibal leader, tells the men that they can have one last request before they get thrown into the cooking pot.
“I-a want a plate of spaghetti!” says Giovanni.
“I would like a bottle of beer, please,” says George.
“Just give me a kick in the ass,” says Ivan.
Giovanni gets his spaghetti, George gets his beer, and Chief Boonga walks over to Ivan and gives him an enormous kick in the rear-end.
Immediately, Ivan pulls out a gun from his pocket, and shoots all the cannibals.
“I say!” exclaims George. “Jolly good show!”
“Mamma mia!” shouts Giovanni. “But what took-a you so long?”
“Well,” explains Ivan, “being a good Russian, I could not attack until I was provoked!”
Be silent… close your eyes…
Feel your body to be completely frozen.
This is the right moment to look inwards. Collect your whole life energy, your total consciousness, and with a great urgency to reach to the center… One never knows, this may be the last moment of your life.
Deeper and deeper… just like an arrow passing through all the layers of body, mind.
As you come closer to the center, you are coming closer to the god….
As you come deeper, nearer, you are coming closer to the buddha hidden in you.
At this moment you are the most fortunate people on the earth, just because you are so close to your divine nature.
Remember only one thing, which is eternal in you, and that is the witnessing consciousness. Just witness everything.
The body is not you – witness.
The mind is not you – witness.
All the experiences that are happening to you – the great silence, the peace, the joy, the ecstasy, you are a witness. You remain always above and beyond.
This beyondness, this witnessing, is your real buddha dharma, your authentic nature, your divine individuality.
To make it clear, Nivedano…
But keep on remembering that you are just a witness.
As the relaxation becomes more and more and more, you start melting like ice into a vast ocean of consciousness. Gautama the Buddha Auditorium, at this moment, has become an ocean of consciousness.
Feel… and collect the experience.
This is no belief, this is your own experience.
This is no finger, you have come to the moon.
And persuade the buddha to come along with you. He has to become your very life, your breathing, your heartbeat, your daily, ordinary activities.
Chopping the wood for the winter, carrying the water from the well, he should be with you. In fact, slowly slowly you will disappear, only buddha remains. That is the greatest day of your life, when only the buddha remains.
The word ‘buddha’ means the witness, the observer, the watcher – in essence, pure awareness. And pure awareness makes you one with the whole cosmos.
Collect as much experience as you can, and persuade the buddha to come along with you.
Come back… but come back with grace, come back with blissfulness, come back as a buddha. And sit down for a few moments just to recollect where you have been, just to remember what golden path you have moved on.
Inch by inch the distance between your circumference and the center is becoming less every day. The day your circumference and center become one, your actions and your consciousness become one, you have arrived home.
One single seed can make the whole earth green. A single buddha can make the whole world afire with a new consciousness and a new humanity.
You are the very hope of a world which is in great despair, in great anguish.
It is not only a question of your individuality, becoming a buddha, it is a question of saving this whole planet. This planet can be saved only by people who understand that every living being is divine.
To destroy anything is ugly and barbarious. Particularly to destroy life is absolutely disgusting, because if you cannot create life, you don’t have any right to destroy it.
One seed makes the whole earth green.
Yes, Beloved Master.
Osho, One Seed Makes the Whole Earth Green, Ch 4, Q 1