All is fine as always

Insights Remembering Here&Now

Tarpan is asking himself if it is OK to be missing the Buddhafield, the ‘eternity hub’.

Tarpan playing the bansuri

For the last two years, when I was unable to move due to the covid lockdown, I missed OIMR in Pune very much. My homely chocolate croissant, the hoo hoo of the coucal birds, the whirling bamboo leaves, the pyramid area in the back, the dancing leaves in the pools in front of the auditorium, the tangible silent moments just before the evening meeting, the nostalgic horns of the trains, the friends, the solitary walks and all…

And more than that, there is a typical fragrance (for me, it’s an uncanny one) I would remember as ‘the commune fragrance’, which engulfs me sometimes; an irresistible call.

When the resort opened again, I was eager to go for a visit. And it happened last May.

Oh! My heartbeats became louder and louder as I entered the front road. This has always been the case since my first visit in January 2000. Once I stepped inside, Ah! OMG! I have arrived! As if I had been on a tedious journey for many years! Or lives?

Yes, a great sigh, the deepest Omkar, brings me back to myself, again and again.

Though there were only few people to be seen around (but then the numbers went on increasing day by day), I felt no difference. The same space, the same air, the same vibe, the same silence.

Yes, there were still white N95 masks on everybody’s face. But personally, I liked it as it helped me to tackle some unexpected coughing during the evening meeting in the auditorium.

Of course, there was no Dynamic Meditation, not yet resumed due to the corona restrictions, and the pyramid area in the back was not maintained. But much difference was not felt, just a temporary change of arrangements. And, to my joy, my favorite coucal birds didn’t miss a single day’s Dynamic, it seems. Their third stage hoo-hoo was as clearly heard as ever.

Peacocks supervised every nook and corner of the Resort, as if they were the in-charge of the campus. They spread their feathers, rattled and danced sometimes.

Horns of trains heard from the railway station, reminded us every evening that we all are on the move, maybe on the same train, on the same track! Wow! That was the best BGM I have ever experienced!

Sometimes I felt lucky, as I could spend some time alone, with the bamboo leaves falling on the Buddha Grove marble floor, though there wasn’t a shower of leaves this time.

Those were the moments I felt that my footsteps on this floor or on the pathways, all my body movements, my dancing gestures, the voice of my breath, my laughter, my joyful shouting were all alive, intact – and so were those of all the others, before and after, irrespective of time!

I can’t remember where it was that Osho spoke about the Buddhafield as an eternal space where the energy vibes go on dancing forever.

How easily the space is misunderstood as a place! Even space seems misunderstood as something outer or inner. And timelessness we count in terms of time only? Perhaps, place, space and time are the ‘namesake coordinates’ which help us put a step into that which is beyond space and time.

Yes, everything may be an excuse, to go beyond? Or not to go beyond? Again the responsibility comes back to oneself!

Ma Pratibha sat there in the bookstall as usual. We laughed, hugged and talked as usual. And I met many other friends. I could remember the walkways as the same old paths, with the same leaves scattered upon them. OMG! This is an ‘eternity hub’, for sure.

But how is it possible? Nothing is the same, that I know. Every leaf is a new one, whether it is green or yellow… every laughter I hear from the Zorba eating area is absolutely fresh. Even this experiencer, who is feeling everything as ancient, is a new one. Isn’t it so?

Amrit Sadhana gifted me an opportunity to play my flute near the swimming pool, as a celebration event at night. And to my joy, Surbala joined me with her ocean drum. I don’t know how beautiful our playing was, but I was immensely joyful that many frogs and cicadas from the swimming pool area accompanied us with their magical percussion!

Even when some friends congratulated us, when Pratap posted it on FB the next day, when another woman said namaste while entering Chuang Tzu, I felt no excitement at all. A flower of gratitude just smiled within, as if it had always been there.

Was I wrong when I so missed the Resort last year? Or, should I have grown to that level of understanding that ‘there is nothing to be missed’, ‘all this is something within all of us’, which is not affected by space and time?

No, I love to have this feeling of ‘missing’, though I could understand (at least intellectually) that something is always there which is beyond my understanding. And who is bothering about the things beyond, when a misty wind of gratitude envelopes me whole?

To all those friends who kept the Resort as serene, alive and beautiful as always, a big thanks from my heart, a big Namaste! Big cheers!

Sometimes we may prefer entanglement than freedom; the entanglement of love, gratitude and celebration.

Is that so?


Dhyan Tarpan is a writer, translator and musician from Kerala.

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