(29 September 1951 – 30 December 2022)
A lover of life
by her sister, Petra
My beautiful, beloved sister Ma Prem Homa (Barbara) has left her body.
Homa was a lover of life, an adventurer and a life-long spiritual seeker. She lived her life to the fullest. Heaven will not be a boring place with my sister in it, it will be one big party!
Homa was born in Cologne, Germany the eldest of four girls. She described her early childhood as a happy one, spending much time outdoors. As a young girl she remembered her name from a past life. She also said to our mother that she wanted to go to India to meet a wise man. The later part of her childhood and early youth were more restrictive as we were sent to Catholic school. But she made the best of it, always finding escape routes to have fun. I admired my big sister.
While studying to become a teacher there was no holding back. She did many travels through Europe and other exotic places and eventually overland to India on the ‘Hippie Trail’. After completing her studies, she went to Kopan Monastery in Nepal and took vows with Lama Yeshe to become a Tibetan nun. For two years she lived in a little hut at the foothills of the Himalayas meditating by herself under his guidance. There she met the first Sannyasins and decided to go to Poona. She took Sannyas in early 1977 and Osho gave her the name ‘Ma Prem Homa’.
What followed was the time of her life. You could strike up a conversation with my sister about Poona One anytime; she had so many stories to tell. She had a great time! She lived in a beautiful bamboo hut on a sugarcane field. She even had a good time on the ranch and was able to stay out of the politics. She loved driving heavy equipment, often at night.
After her Sannyas years she met her husband Udo in Ibiza and they settled in Germany.
During their long marriage they shared many common interests, sailing, traveling and the love of water. Homa was an avid scuba diver. They created two beautiful homes and had two amazing dogs, Tscha Li and Toni, that Homa loved dearly.
While she worked as a teacher she continued to travel and was a regular in Corfu. Even though Homa and I lived on opposite sides of the planet, we stayed in contact with endless phone calls and she visited me in Hawaii once. She also stayed close to her other two sisters and her five nieces and nephews who adored their aunty. She continued to immerse herself in the healing arts and spirituality like Tai Chi, Reiki, Buddhism etc.
About six months ago Homa suddenly fell ill. For a long time, we hoped she would recover. Her husband Udo cared for her devotedly and even managed to bring her home. Two of her sisters were able to visit her. During all this time, she remained peaceful and in a very positive state of mind, but then passed unexpectedly.
Fly High, beloved sister, we love you.
You will be missed greatly until we meet again,
Your sister Petra
Offering of love
(sannyas darshan on 12 January 1978)
Prem means love, homa means offering – offering of love. And that’s all we can offer to god; anything else will not be worthwhile, will not be worthy. We can only offer our heart; that is our flower. In the East they say, ‘Never offer a bud; always offer a flower’… because the bud is incomplete. When something is complete, only then can it be offered to god. So never offer a heart which has not loved totally, otherwise it will be a bud.
When the heart has loved totally, it opens, it blooms, it releases the fragrance that man carries within, and that is the time to offer it. Love prepares man as an offering to god. So love as intensely as possible, abandon yourself in love. Get lost in the dimension of love, because that is the only way to find yourself. Don’t go on holding yourself, otherwise you will miss.
Life is very illogical. It requires risk, it requires leaps where the mind cannot help, because the mind can always help in things it knows, it can help about the past, it can supply answers for questions that you have already solved, but when a new phenomenon faces it, it is impotent. In that moment it shrinks back, it closes itself; it tries to deny the problem because it feels impotent in front of it. That’s why so many people go on denying love, because it imposes great risks the mind is not capable of coping with.
So many people deny the existence of god. Not that they have searched, enquired and known that god doesn’t exist. They have not searched, they have not enquired; in fact they are afraid to search. The only way to protect themselves from the search is to believe that there is no god. If there is no god then there is no question of searching and enquiring. They are afraid to take the leap. So whenever there is a moment where the mind feels inadequate, put it aside, go ahead. That is the only way to grow and open.
Love gives great challenges. It brings all that is inside you to the surface; it provokes, it goads. And it is not all joy. There is much suffering involved in it because growth is not possible without pain. So when pain comes, accept it; when pleasure comes, accept it. Whatsoever comes, accept it and go on. Go on finding more and more ways and means to pour yourself into existence. That’s what prayer is for me.
And one day when your love flower has bloomed, it will be accepted. Only then can one contact god, not before that god is just around you; he is your around and he is your surround, he is within and without, but our eyes are blind.
A great poet, Paul Edward, has said that the other world exists but the other world exists in this world. The other world is, but it is hidden in this world. My own suggestion is that there is no other world. This is the only world and nothing is hidden in it.
All is unhidden, but we are keeping our eyes closed, hence it looks hidden. There is no secret about god; god is not hiding in the caves, he is spread all over, but we go on keeping our eyes closed. Love opens your eyes, and only love can open them because love is unafraid, fearless. Logic is very very afraid.
Remember that, and as you go deeper into love, you will come closer to god.
Osho, The Sun Behind the Sun Behind the Sun. Ch 12
Hello dear Homa,
We have met in many different places during the last 40 years and always exchanged our views and jokes: I called you MARGARINE and you laughed loud. These moments are usually very rare among ‘usual’ people… you were as unusual as one can be******
Hasta luego, cariño; we will meet again.
What a beautiful, deeply-touching, deeply-reaching darshan. Of course they all are, but this one brings me to the very core of all possibilities, of our/my potential, puts straight, into straight words, my/our sorry condition of living with closed eyes. An arrow.
Ma Prem Divo
My beloved friend and fellow-traveler,
I was in shock when I heard of your departure. I was thinking to call you in December – and I didn’t.
Homa`s beautiful story how she came to Osho in ’78, can be read in the Bhagawati’s book, Past the Point of No Return.
Atulya Petra, thanks for writing about your sister’s departure. I would love to connect with you and know more about Homa.
I’m missing you, my sannyas sister.
Until we meet again, all my love.
You can leave a message / tribute / anecdote by writing to email@example.com (pls add ‘Homa’ in the subject field).
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