Nature is wiser than anything in my small world, writes Rico Provasoli in this article
Like many of my peers in their late 70s, I have medical issues. Some minor, others full-blown life-threatening. I’ve skirted a few close calls and, so far, I’m still here and doing mostly okay, but a recent development has now arisen which requires costly treatment. Many have heard stories of battles with insurance companies to obtain payment for necessary medical procedures. I was ready and prepared to dig in and convince the person on the phone regarding my needs.
It didn’t go well.
Not surprisingly, I grew frustrated but, relying on decades of Zen practice to remain centered, I reminded myself that the person on the phone was a cog in the wheels of bureaucracy, doing her best to help me while still adhering to company protocol.
Just breathe, relax and remain positive, my inner voice counseled.
Sometimes easier said than done.
After thirty minutes of this wrestling match, I was told that while the request would be addressed as soon as possible, it might take a month or more to process. I thanked the person and bowed my head in gratitude that my Italian temper hadn’t arisen. At other times in my life, it’s volatile – and sometimes ugly – head has only made things worse.
By now, the morning sun had appeared, the foggy mist had evaporated and the chorus of birds had returned. I shut down the computer, turned the ringer off my phone, took my water bottle and headed for the nearby nature reserve.
My mind very quickly dropped the insurance struggle when the living world of plants, squirrels, crows, blue jays and seagulls became the focus of my attention. As I walked the distance to the protected wilderness area, a relaxation took deeper root, the previous tension of the phone call now a whisper of a past memory.
The enormously complex world of animals, birds and fish comforted me as I crossed the bridge to arrive at the forest. I could smile at my little drama and felt a renewed trust that nature is wiser than anything in my small world. Even if my petitions to the insurance company were approved, they could never satisfy the inner longing for the peace that the nature trek had provided.
I found a dry log, sat down, and relaxed even more as I observed the animal kingdom in action, its intelligence seemingly superior to man’s. I allowed myself to rest as this world revealed the wisdom of nature, and an ineffable healing seemed to arise in my heart, my mind. It almost seemed as if I was in a sanctified Cathedral, and that a prayer from my childhood had arisen: Lord, make there less of me to make room for thee.
I eventually got back to my feet, and my aching bones and health concerns were, somehow, diminished as I strolled back home. Gratitude welled up. I smiled at the earlier drama and almost giggled when I opened my front door and brewed a cup of green tea for company, as the sunset lit up the late afternoon sky.
When you look out of your eyes, nature is happening out there, you’re looking at you. That’s the real you. The you that goes on and of itself.
~ Alan Watts
Previously also published in goodmenproject.com
Featured photo by Matteo Vistocco on Unsplash
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