Becoming the Designated Calm Person

Nayana reviews Lasell Jaretzki Bartlett’s most recent book, subtitled Learning to Settle Ourselves and Others

Becoming the Designated Calm Person
Learning to Settle Ourselves and Others
by Lasell Jaretzki Bartlett – lasellbartlett.com
Self-published, 2024
Paperback (110 pages) and Kindle (67 pages)
ISBN-13: ‎979-8989953608
ASIN: ‎B0D1P5HW8T
Amazon*

This elegant little workbook from Lasell Jaretzki Bartlett comes at the perfect time! We could all use a Designated Calm Person with the state of the world as it is! In this book, Lasell offers us multiple ways to practice shifting from stress to safe through a collection of simple, practical exercises.

But before I get into the book in more detail I just want to say how much I admire Lasell’s dedication to writing this book and sharing all her experiences. Through her books we all benefit from her years of working with people, self-learning and her multiplicity of skills. Her devotion to her path is felt here as a gentle, meditative cradle where you can relax into your self safely.

Now the book.

The concept of Designated Calm Person (just the title makes me smile, which must be good for the nervous system!) grew out of Lasell’s work as a therapeutic riding instructor where vulnerable people can fall off horses and need a safe person to help them release the shock and return to ‘neutral’. It is also a shock to the instructor, so they need to know how to quickly settle themselves so they can be present for the client. But this concept applies equally to any situation where someone needs support to return their nervous system to a relaxed state. For instance, after a fall, or injury, bad news, a death in the family, or anything that causes upset. Recovery after a shock doesn’t happen in isolation, it needs the presence of someone who feels safe. A calm person, who really ‘sees’ you, always feels safe. In order to see another we need to be familiar with our own inner world.

This is a workbook, not theoretical but practical, a ‘how to’ with exercises for you to practice. There is enough theory for it all to make sense of course, but it is an experiential guide. Laid out with exercises and room for making notes and answering the leading questions that help you look more deeply into the exercise.

Lasell has many years working with Somatic Experiencing and this modality informs her exercises and explanations here too. They can help you feel into your body and learn about your emotional states and how they shift from aroused to settled and simple ways you can shift, because that is the nature of life, always shifting. Most of the exercises are designed for you to do by yourself or with a partner, but they can also be used to guide others. I think this workbook is a useful tool for anyone working in the therapeutic field, whatever the modality.

The purpose of this workbook, when all is said and done, is to give an increased awareness of your self and how your particular system functions in relaxation and in tension. You may find yourself feeling more alive, with clearer vision and a sharper ability to observe, both yourself and others around you. From this observant, non-judgmental state it is easy to anticipate what another person or animal might need and how you can best be there for them. Calmness generates calmness.

I think anyone who is on the path of meditation and self-awareness will enjoy going through these exercises. I know I did.