A note by Subhan
I spent a good deal of my younger days trying to control or teach or change people who impacted my life. My mind wanted them to be what “I/my personality” wanted them to be. I was quite unconscious of the results of this interference with them. I do know that I lived with a great deal of anxiety, worry, frustration and misery. And, as a result, nothing truly satisfied me.
It took years to become clearer. Years of meditation and breakthroughs and learning and pain and misunderstanding and understanding – and having amazing insights from all of these experiences.
The learning was: what others do or don’t do is inevitably their business and out of my control.
This understanding was supported by being with, listening to, and reading the words of an enlightened person – Osho – and also being with fellow travelers on a path of discovery.
When what others did was no longer the focus, it became obvious that I had to look at what I was doing!
And my business became clear:
It is what I do with what they do, not what they do!
So, either my unconscious reaction or an aware response to them has become the key, not their action. What gets triggered within me becomes the focus, not the one who triggered it.
I discovered that’s where I can create heaven… or hell.
It isn’t easy. The mind is so used to blaming the other as the source of the pain. In identifying with this mind, I can become the victim; and they become the perpetrator. The mind has a distorted satisfaction in being a victim, which probably comes from a childhood where the only power available was the satisfaction of being the victim, the good one. But, it’s never been clearer that this blaming process and taking on the role of a victim does not work! Nothing gets resolved.
Because of this understanding, meditation became tremendously helpful in making available both a silence that resided within; and the ability to step back and watch what the mind is doing.
What does the mind do? Watching reveals that it creates conflict; it negatively judges just about everything; it seems to constantly be upset about what has happened; and it worries about what will happen.
While the mind can create many ideals and dreams, it is never able to manifest them in a way that produces real satisfaction. And it constantly transmits tension and rigidity into the body, which makes it extremely difficult to relax! This understanding has had a tremendous impact on how life is lived in this mind-body of mine! It is essential to watch the mind, and to step back from it.
And so now, my life is built around the priority of meditation and inquiry and watching the mind. It still has its moments of anxiety and worry – as identifying with the mind is a habit that dies hard! But, it’s also joyful to be a part of a sangha – a group of seekers – where we can connect, join together, and further watch the mind-body. We can relish exploring the path to the inner reality that mystics are pointing towards – to the inner home – both together and alone, at the same time!
This article was first posted on Facebook – reproduced here with the author’s permission
Featured image credit to kaboompics.com
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