Satya Priya reveals how Osho Padma Meditation Center in New York mysteriously runs by itself.
When I was asked to write a piece about myself for Osho News, I immediately felt resistance. Unless something comes out spontaneously for me, it just doesn’t feel real. I do remember telling Brazilian Seeta back in 1974, when she asked me to run the center, that I never want to run a center. I want nothing to do with any organization. Well, I’ve learned never to say never in front of the master.
I’ve been running a center almost my whole sannyas life, which is about 39 years. I’ve heard him say what we resist we become. I’ve resisted having to face my individuality and the pain of aloneness. And now my resistance is to expose it all. But it seems this is the only way.
The Osho Padma Meditation Center that I’ve been running since 1987 is small and it’s my apartment. What to say about this love affair with Osho? I welcome anyone who rings the bell. I feel Osho gave me this assignment to keep me on the journey with him. Sometimes, I struggle to keep it going, I constantly have to face myself and how I’m always trying to keep things in control. I’m always concerned about not doing a perfect job. But I see that everything is happening in spite of me. And maybe that’s also what scares me, that I’m not needed.
I keep looking for recognition for what I’m doing even though it’s obvious everything is happening as it should. I feel this is a very alive center which has attracted many people. Sometimes, it gets so intense with sharing our feelings, I keep having to come back to myself remembering that the need for approval has to go.
The photos are all taken at the events I’ve organized: the Milarepa and The One Sky Band events in the fall. Then I started leading a spring event and quite spontaneously gave it a theme. Every year a theme would come to me like Watch the Gap, A Taste of Innocence, Playfulness. Then I would wonder how these themes would be expressed, how they would be accomplished in the group. I get nervous every year, thinking it will never happen. But it does. Mysteriously the master is always at work.
Finally, this year what came was seriousness. And again, how to accomplish this? First of all I have to get unserious about accomplishing this. Osho always pushes me into the abyss and I struggle to get to the tangible. Trust always seems to be the message, trusting that the abyss will not leave me dangling with no ground under my feet. Perhaps it’s just trusting that the master will always be there to catch me if needed…
Satya Priya was born in Manhattan (NYC) and became a sannyasin in 1974. During Pune 1 days she commuted between New York and the ashram, and for the four years in Rajneeshpuram she worked in the restaurants, preparing for the festivals; her favorite occupation was watering the grass around Rajneesh Mandir and the gardens at the hotel. oshopadmameditation.us