Sarita gives much needed advice to young people about sexuality:
I receive an ever-increasing number of requests from parents to offer Tantra teachings to adolescent children, in order to give young people a positive life approach to begin adult life with. When people who are already in their 30s or 40s begin the study of Tantra, they invariably say: “If only I had learned this when I was a teenager, how much happier I could have been in my life!”
The only thing that has held me back from offering groups to adolescents is the fact that they are under age and if any teachings on sexuality are to be offered, these would have to be done with the presence of the parents and or approved by the school authorities. Yes, Tantra Teachings are urgently needed for young people, and I hope that there will be someone who is willing to wade through all the red tape necessary to achieve that goal. I am happy to teach to young people and will simply need someone who can organize this to become possible under the current societal structure!
I have just heard that a documentary was shown in the UK on Channel 4 a few days ago where a Belgian sexologist visited a school in northern England for several weeks and worked with a group of sixteen 15-16 year olds teaching them about sexuality. So a sign that things are beginning to change, although not fast enough for most teenagers.
In my book Divine Sexuality, I offer teachings for all ages, including adolescents. A good place to begin Tantra initiation is to read this book. Many parents have informed me that they have left Divine Sexuality lying around the house, available for their teenage child to pick up and read.
And recently, I have received a series of questions from some adolescents seeking answers to burning questions about life, love, sexuality and spirituality. This article is devoted to answering these questions which, by the way, also have relevance to adults!
As an example, here one of the questions asked and answered:
Q) “I have been interested in sex from a young age. I learned about sex by watching porn (at age 10) and since then have been addicted to porn. I have tried to have sex with girls, but I am unable to enjoy it unless I fantasize about all the porn stars I have inside my head. Someone told me recently that it is dangerous to be addicted to porn and that I could become impotent by doing this. Is this true? If so, what can I do about it? I am 16 years old and am scared that I am damaging myself. Please help me to choose a positive direction for my sexual expression.”
A) First of all, I would like to really praise you for reaching out and asking for help about your porn addiction. It is true that porn is a negative habit and can cause impotence if practiced to an extreme for too long. It has been found by an Australian study that 50% boys between 10—20 years of age are porn addicts and that by the age of 20 a large percentage of these have become impotent.
You can watch this Ted Talk by Gary Wilson to give you some valuable information, which will be of help.
There are millions of young people now trying to come off porn and so you are not alone. The bottom line is, porn is a business and the more addicts it has, the more money it makes. Through a process of over stimulation leading to de-sensitization of the brain and body, the porn user’s life is at risk of being ruined, with little or no possibility of sustaining an intimate relationship with a real live woman.
As an antidote to this scenario, do everything you can to let go of porn and cultivate real and meaningful relationships. It is important to understand that the way most porn depicts women and men in a sexual situation will not help you to become a good lover. It is training you to be the worst possible lover, particularly because women are demeaned with porn and woman’s sexuality is portrayed in a very unrealistic way.
Positive directions for you will be:
Get Trained in Dance such as Tango or Salsa, allowing fluid and joyful movement of the body while in intimate contact with women.
Learn Massage as this will train you to enjoy sensitive ways of touching and being touched.
Learn Tantra in whatever way you can, whether that is with books, videos or groups. Remember, there are many ways Tantra is taught in the world and it is good to choose a Tantra style, which merges sexuality, love and spirituality. If there is not a spiritual component in the Tantra you find, it is better to move on. Tantra in its true manifestation will always include meditation.
Be with nature: Being in nature is one of the best ways to return to being in tune with our inner nature. This could take many forms, such as working on an organic farm, or trekking in gorgeous nature areas, or swimming in the sea. Leaning your back against a tall, strong and healthy tree and asking the tree to bring you into balance will be a powerful way to find equilibrium between body heart and soul.
Article by Sarita, previously published on her blog
Ananda Sarita met Osho in Mumbai in 1973 and shortly afterwards received sannyas. She spent the next 26 years in his communes where she worked cleaning Osho’s house, as a medium in energy darshan, in the PR department and as a holistic healer. Osho gave her the title ‘Mahasatvaa’ meaning ‘keeper of esoteric wisdom’. Since 1997 she has been teaching Tantra, holistic healing and meditation across the world. She lives in England and Greece. www.tantra-essence.com