Madhuri’s notes about a Tantra technique of ‘direct efficacy and beauty’
This beautiful technique, from Diana Richardson’s book The Heart of Tantric Sex, has been one of the most startlingly effective ones I’ve used – both in my own Tantric practise and in groups I’ve led. Normally when we are loving our focus is on the Other, but here we reverse that and start with ourselves. The result is… amazing. Like being in some completely different dimension than is usual in lovemaking.
“Before you make love, lie in bed on your sides and face each other, your bodies slightly apart and without any physical contact. Pull your focus away from your partner into your own body. Close your eyes for a few moments and feel yourself withdrawing your awareness from the outer to the inner. You can imagine you are sliding down into your own spine vertebra by vertebra, into the back, down into the pelvis, and so connecting with the energy in the base of your body and legs. Hold yourself in there for a while, and give yourself time. This brings vitality to your own body before you bring your bodies together.
“After several minutes, open your eyes and look at each other. As this happens you keep your awareness in your own body. Breathe. Relax your jaw.
“After a few minutes, slowly, slowly inch forward toward your lover, keeping your focus inside. Move into an embrace, the slower the better, starting with a meeting of the fingertips, and let it be more of a ‘happening’ than a ‘doing.’ Be acutely aware of each body part, the skin, the warmth, as it meets and wraps itself around the other. If you wait long enough just ‘being’, you will find the bodies are eventually pulled or sucked together, attracted like magnets. Remove any intention, and be with the experience of moving closer to the one you love.
“When we move into love with this slow sensitivity, awareness of ourselves and of our partner is greatly expanded. The body energies too respond vibrantly to this languid lazy approach.”
Incidentally, I’d like to add that in my own Tantric relationship (2005-2012), Diana Richardson’s two books Tantric Orgasm for Women and The Heart of Tantric Sex were our manuals, our Bibles. Diana Richardson is also called Satya Puja, and I knew her slightly in Poona (in fact, she inherited a beloved ex from me there!)
It was marvellously reassuring to have her two books as a sort of anchor or base for the Tantra exploration I was going into later with my Missouri partner. Sometimes, in fact, if he and I were both a bit indisposed and tired, we’d go through our undressing-each-other ritual, use Aura Soma, and then settle in bed sitting up against pillows, and read aloud to each other from these books. We slowly made our way through them, page by page – I’d read a page, then he would, then I would, and so on. This was cosy and illuminating and relaxing.
This technique will be part of Madhuri’s upcoming book, titled Techniques I Have Loved
Featured image credit to Tim Mossholder: unsplash.com/@timmossholder
More information about Diana Richardson’s courses and books, which are available in various languages, and links from where to buy them, go to Puja’s website: www.livinglove.com or follow her on Instagram: @learnlivinglove or Facebook: facebook.com/learnlivinglove
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