Dhana had this joke ready for Jivanmukta, but she left before he could tell it to her
“Knock, knock.”
“Come on in,” says God from his office desk.
“Excuse me, my precious Lord, we are having a small problem here…” explains St. Peter.
“What’s going on then?”
“There is this old man who keeps complaining he is cold.”
“Cold? Here in paradise?”
“Yes, he’s been whining for ages. I don’t know what to do with him anymore…”
“Alright, St. Peter. I’ll take care of it. Let him in.”
“Excuse me…” the old man squeezes through the half-open door.
“Go ahead, my dear. Tell me, what’s this thing about feeling cold all the time?”
“I’m freezing – all the time. It’s really too cold up here,” croaks the old man.
“But my blessed soul, we are in heaven! There is bliss everywhere and all day long angels are playing the harp on the white fluffy clouds…”
“Exactly! The white fluffy clouds! You have no idea how the wind howls between those clouds!”
“But… This is heaven. It’s the most luxurious place we have. Where else do you want to go? You would not want to go to purgatory?”
“Why, is it warmer there?”
“I don’t know, but there might be less wind, for sure. Do you want to give it a try?”
“Yes, yes. It couldn’t be worse than up here.”
Thus it happened that the old man was taken to purgatory.
However, after a few years, the keepers of purgatory, at a loss about what to do with this old man who kept moaning about being cold, contacted God and asked him to intervene.
God came down to purgatory and the old man was summoned.
“Tell me, what’s the matter?”
“I’m cold.”
“Blessed son, if you don’t like it here either, I don’t know where else I could send you. Unless, of course, you want to go to hell.”
“Why? Is it warmer there?”
“Well yes, it’s quite warm. It’s actually quite hot there, but…”
“Then I want to go to hell. Yes, send me there.”
“Are you sure? Look…”
“Hell will fine, as long as it’s hot!”
And the old man was escorted to hell.
God returned to his office and after a while forgot all about the incident.
Eons and eons passed, and one sunny morning God remembered the old man who was always cold.
He decided to go down to hell and find out how he was doing.
The devil personally opened the door for him: “My God, what a surprise to see you down here!”
“Satan dearest, it’s been a long time indeed…”
“Yeah, it’s been ages! But let’s skip the small talk. Why are you here? What’s up? How can I help you?”
“It’s nothing, really. I was just curious about something.”
“Tell me, I am all yours.”
“Do you remember… that was a few millennia ago… when I sent you an old man who was always…”
At that instant, from within the steaming underworld a shrill old man’s voice was heard, “Close that fucking door – how many times do I have to tell you…”
In loving memory of Jivanmukta, thanks to Dhana, translated from Italian by Osho News.
Here is the original in Italian, spoken by Dhana:
Featured image thanks to Valerio Giannattasio (unsplash.com/@valeographia)
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