A friend hosted a dinner party for family far and wide and everyone was encouraged to bring all their children as well. All during the sit-down dinner one four-year-old girl stared at the uncle sitting across from her. The girl could hardly eat her food for staring. The uncle checked his tie, felt his face
An Australian man was having a coffee and croissants with butter and jam in a cafe when an American tourist, chewing gum, sat down next to him. The Australian politely ignored the American, who,nevertheless, started up a conversation. The American snapped his gum and said,”You Australian folk eat the whole bread?” The Australian frowned, annoyed
John Cleese, one of the most witty and intelligent British subjects ever having graced this planet, tells us how Europe is reacting to the latest crisis.
A woman walks into the Liverpool benefits office, trailed by 15 kids… “Wow!” the social worker exclaims, “Are they all yours? “Yeah, they are all mine,” the flustered mother sighs, having heard that question a thousand times before. She says, “Sit down Terry.” All the children rush to find seats. “Well,” says the social worker,
Kulula is a low-cost South-African airline that doesn’t take itself too seriously. It’s head office is situated in Johannesburg. Kulula airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight “safety lecture” and announcements a bit more entertaining.
There was a Japanese man who went to India for sightseeing. On the last day, he hired a cab and told the driver to drive to the airport. During the journey, a Honda drove past the taxi. The Japanese tourist leaned out of the window excitedly and yelled: “Honda, very fast! Made in Japan!” After a
The husband leans over and asks his wife, “Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.” “Yes,” she says, “I remember it well.” “OK,” he says, “How about taking a
So you’re a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no nursing home available for you, what do you do? Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. You are allowed to shoot four Congressmen. Of course, this means you will be sent to prison where you will
1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. 2 The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on my list. 3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Two little old ladies, Dorace & Jackie, were sitting on a park bench outside the local town hall where a flower show was in progress.
Paddy thought the letters ‘LOL’ meant ‘Lots Of Love’. So he sent the following text to his girlfriend: “You’re the only girl in my…
A little boy goes to his father and asks, “Daddy, how was I born?” The father answers, “Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at
For those struggling to ban women from wearing Burqa in their countries, Mustafa Kemal, best known as ‘Attaturk’, the founder of modern Turkey resolved…
In the year 2011, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in Europe, and said: “Once again, the earth has become wicked and…
As a joke, my brother Jay used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before Christmas. He said all he wanted…
A keen young immigrant Indian Marwari applied for a salesman’s job at London’s premier downtown department store.
Mrs. Ravioli comes to visit her son Anthony for dinner. He lives with a female roommate, Maria. During the course of the meal, his…
A young cowboy in a saloon on a Saturday night recognized the elderly man standing next to him at the bar as a famous…
A Chinese guy goes to a Jew to buy black bras, size 38. The Jew, known for his skills as a businessman, says that…
A very tired nurse walks into a bank, totally exhausted after an 18-hour shift. Preparing to write a cheque, she pulls a rectal thermometer out of her purse and tries to write with it. When she realizes her mistake, she looks at the flabbergasted teller, and without missing a beat, she says: ‘Well, that’s great….that’s
Moishe Goldberg was heading out of the Synagogue one day, and as always Rabbi Mendel was standing at the door, shaking hands as the…
A visitor to Israel attended a recital and concert at the Moscovitz Auditorium. He was quite impressed with the architecture and the acoustics. He inquired of…
It was entertainment night at the Senior Citizens Center. Claude the hypnotist explained: “I’m here to put you into a trance; I intend to…
An elderly man and woman, both in their 70’s, walk into a sex therapist’s office. The doctor asks, ‘What can I do for you?’…
Imagine the following: you have just made it through your wedding ceremony and have stepped out on the front steps of the church. The…
1. Law of Mechanical Repair – After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you’ll have to pee.…
A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards. The little…