Category

Jokes

On turning 70 I still chase women, but only downhill. On turning 80 That’s the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing. On turning 90 You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. On turning 100 I don’t feel old. In fact, I don’t feel anything

An Australian walks into a pub and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?” “No,” he replies, “I just got this state-of-the-art watch and I was just

An anagram is a type of word play, the result of rearranging the letters of a word or phrase to produce a new word or phrase, using all the original letters exactly once.

When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about the 30-year old business I ran with 1,800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos, pictures and communicates with Facebook and Twitter.

Two priests decided to go to Hawaii on vacation. They were determined to make this a real vacation wearing anything that would identify them as clergy. As soon as the plane landed they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc. The next morning they went to the beach

I just took a leaflet out of my mailbox, informing me that I can have sex at 79.               I’m so happy, because I live at number 71. So it’s not too far to walk home afterwards. And as its the same side of the street, I don’t even

A man in London walked into the produce section of his local Tesco’s supermarket and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy working in that department told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce. The man was insistent that the boy ask the manager about the matter. Walking into the

Bert feared his wife Peg wasn’t hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid.

Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the emergency call. The house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-year old girl to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby… Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked. Her mother

A friend hosted a dinner party for family far and wide and everyone was encouraged to bring all their children as well. All during the sit-down dinner one four-year-old girl stared at the uncle sitting across from her. The girl could hardly eat her food for staring. The uncle checked his tie, felt his face

An Australian man was having a coffee and croissants with butter and jam in a cafe when an American tourist, chewing gum, sat down next to him. The Australian politely ignored the American, who,nevertheless, started up a conversation. The American snapped his gum and said,”You Australian folk eat the whole bread?” The Australian frowned, annoyed

A woman walks into the Liverpool benefits office, trailed by 15 kids… “Wow!” the social worker exclaims, “Are they all yours? “Yeah, they are all mine,” the flustered mother sighs, having heard that question a thousand times before. She says, “Sit down Terry.” All the children rush to find seats. “Well,” says the social worker,