A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.

A man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping in a store.

1. Let your mind be as a floating cloud. Let your stillness be as the wooded glen. And sit up straight. You’ll never meet the Buddha with such round shoulders. 2. There is no escaping karma. In a previous life, you never called, you never wrote, you never visited. And whose fault was that? 3.

A preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike.

After their baby was born, the panicked father went to see the obstetrician.

A preachers was completing a temperance sermon.

A single guy decided life would be more fun if he had a pet.

The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just married for the fourth time.

Two businessmen in the centre of Cape Town were sitting down for a little break in their soon-to-be new shop…

Credit to Sugit

Religions of the World Taoism: Shit Happens Hinduism: This shit happened before Islam: If shit happens, take a hostage Buddhism: When shit happens is it really shit? 7th Day Adventist: Shit happens on Saturday Protestantism: Shit won’t happen if I work harder Catholicism: If shit happens, I deserve it Jehova’s Witness: Knock, knock, “Shit Happens!”

A business had grown so much that larger premises were needed.

Deaf Mute Gets New Hearing In Killing Headless Body Found In Topless Bar Grandmother of Eight Makes Hole in One Doctors Help Torch Victim New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group 5 1/2 Foot Boa Caught in Toilet; Woman Relieved Dismemberment Killer Convicted: Thank God Jury Could Put Pieces Together Squad Helps Dog

Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee close to St. Peter’s Square.

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon.

A pretty little girl named Suzy was standing on the sidewalk in front of her home.

Credit to Sugit

Credit to Baul

A mega-string instrument to make any musician jealous!

Cartoon by his friend Ketan

Credit to Max

Credit to Rupda

There is a statue in a park, of a nude couple.

Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and lawyers.

Credit to Sugit

  Credit to Max

Real news headlines gathered from papers across the USA:

Credit to Sugit (Japan)

… silence for a while – maybe…

  Credit to Sugit (Japan)

I already know!

While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch.

  Credit to Atul

A new phenomenon has entered the internet – e-mooning:

A woman was having a passionate affair with an Italian inspector from a pest-control company.

For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman.

An old man walks into a confessional. The following conversation ensues:

A man in North Carolina had a flat tire.

Father O’Malley answers the phone.

Must love the Irish and their sense of humour! Sports commentator on an Olympic sailing event, hilarious like a parody!

A fourth-grade teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living.

A gorgeous blonde from Australia was sent on her way to Heaven. Upon arrival, a concerned St. Peter met her at the Pearly Gates.

What’s that?

Rowan Atkinson comes across an invisible drum kit while sweeping.

Rrriiiiinnnnggg, rrriiiinnnngg, rrriiiinnnngg…

A lady died this past January…

  Credit to Sugit (Japan)

ARIES: Okay, let’s do it again! TAURUS: I’m hungry – pass the pizza. GEMINI: Have you seen the remote? CANCER: When are we getting married? LEO: Wasn’t I fantastic? VIRGO: I need to wash the sheets. LIBRA: I liked it if you liked it. SCORPIO: Perhaps I should untie you. SAGITTARIUS: Don’t call me –

A man went to the doctor’s office to ask for a triple dose of Viagra.

Old Fred had been a faithful Christian and was in the hospital, near death. The family called their priest to stand with them.

Indian-Jewish Stand Up Comedian: Samson Koletkar

A father asked his ten-year old son if he knew about the birds and the bees.

On his 74th birthday, a man got a gift certificate from his wife.

Boris receives a call from the manager of a storage unit.

Alert: CBS and FOX are reporting…

Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over Miners Refuse to Work after Death Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant War Dims Hope for Peace If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile

Q. In which battle did Napoleon die? A. His last battle. Q. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? A. At the bottom of the page. Q. River Ravi flows in which state? A. Liquid. Q. What is the main reason for divorce? A. Marriage. Q. What is the main reason for failure? A. Exams.