Credit to Sugit
Religions of the World Taoism: Shit Happens Hinduism: This shit happened before Islam: If shit happens, take a hostage Buddhism: When shit happens is it really shit? 7th Day Adventist: Shit happens on Saturday Protestantism: Shit won’t happen if I work harder Catholicism: If shit happens, I deserve it Jehova’s Witness: Knock, knock, “Shit Happens!”
Deaf Mute Gets New Hearing In Killing Headless Body Found In Topless Bar Grandmother of Eight Makes Hole in One Doctors Help Torch Victim New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group 5 1/2 Foot Boa Caught in Toilet; Woman Relieved Dismemberment Killer Convicted: Thank God Jury Could Put Pieces Together Squad Helps Dog
Must love the Irish and their sense of humour! Sports commentator on an Olympic sailing event, hilarious like a parody!
A gorgeous blonde from Australia was sent on her way to Heaven. Upon arrival, a concerned St. Peter met her at the Pearly Gates.
ARIES: Okay, let’s do it again! TAURUS: I’m hungry – pass the pizza. GEMINI: Have you seen the remote? CANCER: When are we getting married? LEO: Wasn’t I fantastic? VIRGO: I need to wash the sheets. LIBRA: I liked it if you liked it. SCORPIO: Perhaps I should untie you. SAGITTARIUS: Don’t call me –
Old Fred had been a faithful Christian and was in the hospital, near death. The family called their priest to stand with them.
Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over Miners Refuse to Work after Death Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant War Dims Hope for Peace If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Q. In which battle did Napoleon die? A. His last battle. Q. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? A. At the bottom of the page. Q. River Ravi flows in which state? A. Liquid. Q. What is the main reason for divorce? A. Marriage. Q. What is the main reason for failure? A. Exams.
These are actual ads seen in ’The Villages’, a Florida newspaper. Who says seniors don’t have a sense of humour?
An elderly man is stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and is asked where he is going at that time of night.
With incredible stamina and vigorous coordinated moves, border guards between Pakistan and India demonstrate the closing of their borders at night.
On turning 70 I still chase women, but only downhill. On turning 80 That’s the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing. On turning 90 You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. On turning 100 I don’t feel old. In fact, I don’t feel anything