Beloved Osho, I really felt affected when you talked about Rajen the other night, because I feel friendship for him, and I feel he loves you as he did before. I feel that in dropping the mala and the red clothes, he is simply trying to experience something new.
I must admit, though, that having worked with him for years, in the most recent group experience with him just a few days ago the quality of his work felt different: I missed the feeling of your presence through him. Please comment.
Your question itself is the answer. If he loves me, then in his groups my presence would have become even more tangible. If my presence in his groups has disappeared, then what he calls love is just an empty word. This is a simple thing.
Neither dropping the mala nor the red clothes is important, because I have allowed it myself. But in his groups he is saying, “I used to serve Osho through surrender. I am still serving him, through making you free of Osho.”
The whole world is free of me. Nobody needs to work to make people free of me. The whole world is already free of me.
But why is my presence being missed? He has lost contact with my heart; his heart is no longer beating with my heart. And it is not only with Rajen. It is so with many other therapists. Only a few have proved the fire test, like Prasad. He has not just remained the same, but has become more deeply involved with me on a new basis, a new flowering of love. In his groups my presence has become deeper. And his work has changed; his therapy has become different, more effective.
But all these people are unconscious. Their love is not what I mean by love. Perhaps at the most, their love means that they don’t hate me. Even that much will be great, because most of them may even be angry with me for the simple reason that they had become accustomed to being just a follower. The whole responsibility was on me. Now I have given back the responsibility to them; they can be angry – they are bound to be angry. They may go on saying like old parrots, “I love you,” but their actions don’t prove it.
Ananda Teertha and a few others with him have opened a meditation academy in Italy. Devageet was there. In finding the place, in arranging the place he worked hard, but finally he was very disappointed because they did not want my name to be associated with the academy.
Devageet said, “I have been working day and night just so that we can create an academy for Osho, and you are not ready even to mention His name in the brochure!” They all had their pictures in the brochure, and they were not willing to have my picture in the brochure.
Devageet had to leave in disgust. They all were saying, “We love Osho,” but no mention of me in the brochure, no mention of me in their groups. And all their groups are filled by sannyasins, and those sannyasins are coming because of me. Devageet made it clear that this is pure exploitation. “These people are coming to your groups because of Osho, not because of you. And you are no longer working for Osho.”
Devageet came to see me in Crete, and I told him, “Don’t be disturbed. This is how unconscious humanity is. Let them do what they are doing. If it is good for people, people will go on coming to them; if it is not good, they will disappear.”
“But,” he said, “it hurts that you made these people great therapists. You made their name famous around the world.”
I said, “You don’t understand the unconscious mind’s logic: now they are taking revenge. They cannot forgive me because I have made them; they feel a certain inferiority, and they would like to proclaim their superiority. So let them do it – don’t be worried. This is how this world goes on.”
It makes no difference to me whether my name is associated with their academy, because there are thousands of other therapists in the world who have nothing to do with me, so these few also can be part of that. Or, they may realize sooner or later that what they are doing is ugly, unloving, and to a man who has made you world-famous; otherwise nobody knew about you, nobody would have ever heard about you.
But this is the problem: it is very difficult to forgive a person who has helped you in any way. You cannot pay it back to me; there is no way of repaying, and you feel indebted. A certain inferiority that you are not self-made creates anger, revenge. But all this will subside.
Just look at your question. You say that you have been with Rajen, and you feel, “He loves you just as he loved you before.” And still you observe that in his work I am no longer there; I am absent.
Can’t you see the contradiction? If he loves me, I should be more present and he should be more absent. If he loves me totally, then only I will be present and he will not be present at all; otherwise the word ‘love’ is just a word as everybody else is using it.
But these people will come to understand soon. It will take a little time because while they were with me, and they were working with the people in therapy groups, it was as if they were constantly nourished by my love.
Soon they will find out that that nourishment is no longer there because their hearts are closed, and they will start feeling tired, exhausted, because all those people who come for therapy are going to take their energies. Soon they will find that they have lost their roots, that now they cannot blossom. But it will take a little time. You can cut the roots – still the flowers will remain for a few days, but not for long.
So let them come to the understanding by themselves, that here they used to work so much with so many people – thousands of people they worked with – but they never felt as if their energies were sucked. But they were not aware why they were not feeling like that – because their roots were within me.
But in the name of freedom, they have withdrawn their roots. They will start dying. It will be sad if they don’t understand it.
Osho, Beyond Psychology, Ch 7, Q 4