A Tantra meditation bringing patience, release of expectation, and empowerment, described by Madhuri
This simple meditation has the possibility of unplugging all your performance issues and bringing you and your partner into loving and sacred Presence.
For me, it was one of the most important meditations in my letting go of what I call Hollywood Sex and entering the sublime realms of love-of-what-is.
Hollywood Sex is haste, performance, stress, pushing, sensation-orientation, and ignoration of what is really happening energetically in favour of a fantasy of what should be happening. Love-of-what-is is what unfolds and blossoms into miracles when we stay connected with the moment and respect what is actually going on instead of what we think should be going on. And when we slow. Way. Down.
The theory
Men and women are oppositely-charged electrically in different chakras. First, sex chakra: Male positive, female negative. (Also see my articles: Chakra Journey and Loo seat up or down: why it matters)
Second, feeling chakra: Female positive, male negative.
Third, power chakra: Male positive, female negative.
Fourth, heart chakra: Female positive, male negative.
Fifth, throat chakra: Male positive, female negative.
Above this there might or might not be polarity in the sixth chakra – different systems differ – but the seventh, crown chakra is not polarized.
For this meditation we are going to involve just the first four chakras.
The method
As always, prepare the space – clean, with candles and soft music. You will need a bed with pillows piled at the head and one extra pillow for the receptive partner. A shawl will be helpful if the room is cool.
Bow to each other. Undress each other gently, consciously, and slowly.
Set a timer for 15 minutes. Decide whether the man or woman will be lying down first, and which chakra she/he would like to begin with. Man: first or third? Woman: heart or belly?
If the woman is passive first, and in her fourth chakra, the man sits with his back against the pillows and wall at the head of the bed, with the woman’s head on the pillow in his lap. He rests his hands on her breasts – just holds them. She can move the hands around until they feel in just the right place – they might be cupping underneath the breasts or lying atop them – whatever feels right to her.
If the man is lying down first, and wants to start with the sex chakra, the woman positions herself between his legs.
Then – the active partner is simply going to be with the chakra of the other. To be with a penis and testicles or to be with breasts, you just have your hands on them and, in the case of the man’s first chakra, maybe your face resting on them now and then. And while the music continues you just be. No talking! And don’t stop the meditation until it’s over. Just watch what’s going on inside. (Of course, if anything is uncomfortable, move about, or move your partner’s hands about, till it feels right again.)
What you do NOT do, under any circumstances: stimulate, caress, try to get a reaction from, pull at, pinch, suck, try to pleasure, and all the other stuff that we learn to do from our teenage time onwards. This might very well seem strange, and might make you nervous! We ALWAYS try to do something to each other! But now we are not!
This passive attention can be an enormous relief to both sexes. No more performing! Nothing has to happen!
And the chakra has a chance to find its own size and space, to expand in the knowledge that it is not a performing seal and does not have to dance and bark! It can become aware of itself unbothered! Yet accompanied!
This can be a revelation!
Watch what the mind is doing – both parties. Just notice its protests, confusions, fears: Surely she/he is becoming bored? Shouldn’t I do something? I always do something! I’m not having an effect on her/him! I’ve lost my power! Oh, this is scary!
But no! No moaning, writhing, tweaking. Just be!
After 15 minutes, change over. It’s now time for the other person’s positive pole.
And just be, both of you. And watch what’s going on inside.
After 15 minutes, change over again: woman’s belly, or man’s third, power chakra, or whatever is next for each partner. Just rest your hands on it, perhaps move them up above the chakra into the aura if you feel like it – but in a non-doing way, just being with. You’re not healing them or reading them or exciting them or anything. Just being.
And after the 15 minutes again, change over to the last positive pole.
When 15 minutes is up, you can both stretch and lie down together comfortably.
Then share how the meditation was for you.
Featured image by Katie Rainbow 🏳️🌈 on Unsplash
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