A short and very helpful couples meditation – by Madhuri
I sometimes used to employ this beautiful technique at the beginning of a Tantra evening with my partner. We’d do three techniques in a row, creating a flowing sequence. But I think it could just as well come second in such a sequence.
It’s a dynamite little thing, given to me by Deva Vibha; the version she gave me was for women’s groups, but I thought it could be co-ed as well. It could also be called Receiving Dancing, because the passive partner in the exercise has just as important a role as the active one.
It comes in handy when one person has something unexpressed lurking around, or when both of you do; it’s also just great anytime, because every day has its moods and truths.
As always, prepare the space: clean it and light candles. You’ll want music that reflects your mood, so each person can choose which music they will want for their part. Any music at all! It should just reflect where you are at. If in doubt, play any sprightly but meditative thing – it will allow space for your truth to emerge.
You’ll need just 5 minutes of music per person.
The method
Decide who goes first. Set a timer for 5 minutes.
Ding the Tibetan bells, and A rises and goes to the front of the room, while B sits alert and comfortable, watching them.
A has 5 minutes to dance whatever is going on with them. Let it be fully expressive through the body! No sounds! Just let the body fully find its way to show what is inside. You don’t need to think about it ahead of time, unless that just happens; simply let the body express. You might find you can express things you would not be able to in words. Use all of your body to do this!
B is watching; but this is not ordinary watching, as you would do for a play. Take in the dance completely! Be totally present for it! Let it in! See each detail, and allow the impact to resonate through you all the way down!
Ding! 5 minutes are up.
Change over.
Now B is going to dance their truth, while A watches and receives. Let it roll!
Ding! 5 minutes are up.
It is time to move on to the next phase of the meditative evening. But at the end of the evening there should be a sharing time, during which each of you can say how it was for you to dance, and to watch the other dance.
You could also do this meditation on its own, just 5 minutes dancing-and-receiving each, and then sit silently for 5 minutes, and then share. This might be nice in a crisis, for example. But generally speaking, I’d say it’s best to include it in a sequence, as you don’t want to go back into talking and its built-up habits without sufficient space-and-silence time. But everybody’s different, and it just might work well.
This technique will also be part of Madhuri’s upcoming book, titled Techniques I Have Loved
Featured image: artwork by the author
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