The husband comes home from work in the evening.
Little Ernie’s parents have invited the local Protestant priest and his wife to tea. Ernie has been told to be on his best behavior, and to say “Please” and “Thank you” at all times. But Ernie is having trouble, and by the end of the afternoon is almost ready to burst. “Would you like some
A New Age musician from California is convinced that wild animals have a friendly, loving nature, which will respond to beautiful music. To test his theory he goes to the African jungle, finds a clearing in the forest, and starts to softly play his guitar. Within minutes, from out of the jungle, animals of all
The new priest in the village, young Father Feever, is coming to visit the Side-bottom household. So Little Sally’s mother gives her daughter some instructions. “If the new priest asks you your name,” says Mrs. Side-bottom, ” say ‘Sally-Jane’. And if he asks you how old you are, say you are seven years old. And
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow last Saturday and asked loudly, “How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?” At the mall on Monday, my sister and I passed by a store that sold a variety of nuts. As we were looking
Whip-speedy humorous monologue by Marty Cobb, a Southwest flight attendant who got on the Ellen Show in April 2014.
A husband exclaims to his wife one day, “Your butt is getting really big. It’s bigger than the BBQ grill!” Later that night in bed, the husband makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off. “What’s wrong?” he asks. She answers, “Do you really think I’m going to fire up this big-ass
Cosmic Comic Pundit Swami Beyondananda Calls for Evolutionary Upwising. Posted on Conscious Life News.
With much humour, 74 year-old Sandra Howard lists the reasons – and many of them apply to men too! Published in Mail Online, UK, on April 5, 2015
Check out the date this was published… on April Fools Day! The latest from the Vatican: Pope Francis and President Barack Obama exchanged gifts at the Vatican on March 27, 2015. During their historic first meeting, Pope Francis made a brilliant surprise gesture. He gave Obama a copy of Osho’s book ‘Priests and Politicians: The
A Harley biker is riding by the zoo in Washington, DC, when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion’s cage.
A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs, and asked a flight attendant to take care of them for him. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew’s refrigerator. He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, “And what starting salary are you looking for?” The engineer replies, “In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.” The interviewer inquires, “Well, what would you say to
Tony and Julie participated in a Marriage Encounter Weekend. They listened intently while the instructor declared, “It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other.” He addressed the men: “Can you each name and describe your wife’s favourite flower?” Tony leaned over, touched Julie’s arm gently and whispered, “Self-raising, isn’t
A disciple went to his master and said, “I have served you faithfully for ten years. Now I have a wish: give me something to eat which will never end.” His master said, “Here, have some chewing gum.”
In India there’s an order among chaos. Only country where you need to look either side while crossing in a one-way. India is a country where a pizza will reach your house faster than an ambulance. In India, you don’t drive on the left of the road, you drive on what is left on the
They call Zach King the god of video editing!
The teacher said to the class, “Let’s begin by reviewing some American History. Who said, ‘Give me Liberty, or give me Death’?”
The General went out to find that none of his G.I.s were present. One finally ran up, panting heavily.
A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town’s most successful lawyer.
Mother Superior tells two nuns that they have to paint their room without getting any paint on their habits.
If your father is a poor man, it is your fate. But if your father-in-law is a poor man, it’s your stupidity. Practice makes perfect. But nobody’s perfect. So why practice? If it’s true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for? Behind every successful