A Scotsman was out having a very good time on Saturday night…

A cartoon by Liz Climo.

A little old lady goes to the doctor.

How do you make holy water?

An English couple decided to adopt a little German boy.

There is a man, dying in his bed in his home.

I fly often for business.

A shepherd was tending his flock in a remote pasture…

Why don’t skeletons fight each other?

The old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he calls his grandson to his bed.

Seven incidents to demonstrate the universality of idiocy.

Unashamedly stolen from iNEWS, compiled by Alex Nelson, October 26, 2022.

Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It’s time-consuming.

Do not trust atoms. They make up everything.

I changed my iPad’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.

A wife invited some people to dinner.

Being unable to stand and leave without first saying “right!”

A man stops by his doctor’s office.

One day, Orson and Cedric went to a steak house for dinner.

Why would Mark Zuckerberg be a very good taxi driver?

One night at 3am I took a cab and asked the driver to take me home.

Little Johnny’s teacher is doing her rounds at lunchtime…

After a long and serious operation, Edna ended up in a coma.

A doctor and an engineer went into a chocolate store.

Not to brag, but just went into another room and actually remembered why I went in there.

I hate it when people act all intellectual and talk about Mozart…

A father was at the beach with his children…

Sherlock Holmes and his assistant Watson were hiking one day in the woods when it began to get dark.

A young man was watching the news when the reporter switched to the traffic.

Dev was walking home when a frog called him from the edge of the pavement.

During my siblings’ and cousins’ weddings…

A proud father brought home a swing set.

Old but still good.

The future, the present and the past walked into a bar. Things got a little tense.

One-liners off the stage.

Old man Vincenzo, a retired gravedigger, was walking along the street in Naples.

The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class:

…isn’t a very good student.

…were sitting next to each other on an airplane.

There was a little old man who was in very good shape…

When Thompson hit seventy he decided to change his lifestyle completely so that he could live longer.

Considering today’s rules and regulations…

Brody Walker went to see his local doctor for his physical.

One-liners off the stage.

The maid wanted an increase in pay.

Signora Moretti comes to visit her son Antonio for dinner.

A young and foolish pilot wanted to sound cool on the aviation frequencies.

An actual AP headline about an incident in San Diego.

Noted sex therapist Dr Wiener devised a new test about the true frequency of sex encounters people have.

Hetta, an elderly, wealthy Jewish woman was sitting on a beach in the South of England.

Charlie’s wife, Lucy, had been after him for several weeks to paint the seat on their toilet.

Random thoughts about getting older.

There was a monastery perched high on a cliff.

A young German couple were expecting their first child.

Antar Mark reports on breaking news of a new ₹ 2000 Indian banknote to have Osho’s image.

An annual competition is held by the New York Times to see who can create the best original Lexophilia.

During his visit to the United States, the Pope met with President Clinton.

Tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from generation to generation.

A famous dietitian was addressing a large audience in Chicago.

A cocky German State Autobahn employee stopped at a farm in Bavaria and talked with old farmer Huber.