Redneck Bobby Ray walks into a saloon.

All the farmers for a hundred miles around were attending the wedding of a young Australian couple.

Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

Nine year old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned at Sunday school.

Gynaecologist Dr Fillmore had become fed up with malpractice insurance and was on the verge of being burned out.

Why, why, why?

Timothy was visiting his brother and sister-in-law for the holidays.

Aldric was annoyed when his wife told him that a car had backed into her, damaging a fender.

An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery.

Polish Air Lines flight 113 was descending for a landing at an airport they had never been to before.

…there is cause for deep insights and vital questions.

This guy has been sitting in a bar all night staring at a blonde wearing the tightest pants he’s ever seen.

A priest comes to a dying old man to read him his last rites.

Short question and answer.

Fred from Birmingham is visiting Amsterdam.

Some new vocabulary to add to your communication skills.

It happened many years ago in Naples, Italy.

During a funeral, the organist gave his best.

An old man walks into a bar, sits down, and starts crying.

While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits.

While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church…

A little boy opened the big family Bible, and was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages.

As a sergeant in a parachute regiment I took part in several exercises.

Last night, my friend and I were sitting in the living room.

We went to breakfast at a restaurant.

A drunk was on the way home late at night.

Ten words that ought to be added to the English dictionary.

A selection from those groups who live for a higher purpose.

Two delicate ladies, one from Mississippi and the other from Texas, were conversing on the porch swing of a large white-pillared mansion.

A soldier at the Pentagon got out of the shower, and realized that his clothes were missing.

Duante is sitting at a bar having a few drinks and feeling grand.

A Kiwi was hoping to immigrate to Australia.

In order to pay his medical school tuition, a student was working two jobs over the summer.

A colony of bats was hanging from the ceiling of a cave.

A grade one teacher collected well-known proverbs.

Sergey is in a Moscow restaurant.

Two elderly ladies were sitting on a bench waiting for their bus.

It was a cold winter day when old man Bennett walked out onto the frozen lake.

Jeff is deep asleep when he suddenly hears the phone ring.

A horrific explosion occurs in a gunpowder factory in Mumbai.

34. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

Thelma Goldstein, an elderly woman from Chicago treats herself to a vacation in Florida.

A guy was on trial for murder and if convicted, would get the electric chair.

An old maid had lived in a tiny Welsh village her entire life.

23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy fridge.

Six-year-old Rakesh comes crying to his mother because his little sister pulled his hair.

A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o’clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door.

At a workshop about coming to terms with sex and sensuality, a couple was told to individually write a sentence using the words ‘sex’ and ‘love’.

12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.

George and Emma decide to spend their 50th wedding anniversary at the same hotel that they had stayed in on their honeymoon.

On an idle afternoon, two elderly women are chatting.

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

An elderly gentleman had an appointment to see a urologist who shared a practice with several other doctors.

Anthony is stressed and middle-aged and is having a problem these days making love with his younger wife.

The Chancellor is in full swing, holding a speech to the members of parliament.

After the Sunday sermon, an elderly lady approaches the priest.

An 80-year-old woman was arrested for shoplifting.

A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local bar.

Warning: Do not use these answers when you get pulled over on the highway.

A man is recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling.